H.O.P.E.|| S.M.

Give Me Love (Part 2)

After my set, I noticed he was still here. I said goodnight and thank you to everyone and hopped off the stage to go and say goodbye to Shawn. He smiled at me and I felt a small piece of happiness that I haven't felt in a while. He gave me another hug, which I wasn't expecting, and he told me congratulations.

"You know it's my job to sing, right? And it's not like this was a competition or anything."

"I know but it just felt right to say it"

"Well I guess this is goodbye then. It was really great meeting you and having you hear me sing. Many of your fans would kill to have that experience."

"There's really no reason to thank me. It was really a pleasure to hear you sing and get to know you. I hope to see you again soon" He smiled at me and gave me one last hug before walking out the door.
"Goodbye Shawn," I whispered.

-

I had gotten home a little later than normal, because I had wanted to enjoy the walk before going back into that house that I was supposed to call home. I decided I had wanted to enjoy this little piece of happiness that seemed to be rising up inside me. I knew it would disappear soon, but I was hoping that it would come back one day.

I tried to silently walk into the house, but it seemed that Daniel was waiting up on me. I always wondered where his wife was because she never seemed to be here. I wonder if she would condone this abuse. I know she does drugs with him so I guess abuse wouldn't be below her. Anyway, Daniel was sitting on the chair, drinking a bottle of beer, while watching the Raider game. He looked at me the second I walked in and his face morphed into one of anger. I immediately knew tonight was not going to go well.

"Where the hell have you been!"

"I had work at the cafe today," I said as I placed down my guitar. I had tried walking up the stairs but he grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"You are usually home by 10:00 but it's 11:00" he said through gritted teeth, "so where the hell have you been!"

"I took my time walking home. I didn't think it was that big of a deal" I whispered quietly.

"That's because you don't think!" He through me on the floor and kicked me twice. "Why do you have to be so stupid? Why couldn't you be smarter and have your life together? Why are you so worthless?!" With each word he said it was another kick. He smashed half of his beer bottle against the stairs and wielded it like a weapon. He slashed my stomach three times with it, then walked away.

I felt the blood leaving my body and I knew I had to get up and tend to these wounds but I just didn't want to. Minutes passed and all I could hear were the annoying ticks of the clock. I pulled myself off the floor and grunted. I always try not to make any noise because I don't want him to get the satisfaction of knowing I'm in pain. I lugged  myself up the stairs and dragged myself to the bathroom where I wiped up the blood and gave myself stitches. I find it weird and sad that a seventeen year old girl knows how to give herself stitches.

Once I was all bandaged up, I grabbed my headphones and started playing Never Be Alone. It was this song that gave me hope to hold on for a little longer and it helped me remember that my life wont always be like this. I had it on repeat and sometime through the night, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

-

The next morning, I woke up and started going through the process of getting ready which was difficult with my injuries. Today, we got out of school early because we had a rally and guest speaker. My school really gets into our rallies, and everyone dresses up in there class color and cheers loudly. I personally don't care for them but I do put on a blue shirt, the seniors class color, and put on a blue bandana with some leggings and Converse. I had applied enough make up to cover any bruises and replaced my bandages from the night before.