H.O.P.E.|| S.M.

Hallelujah

Brynlee's Point of View

- A few months later-

Shawn and I have been talking less and less. I knew he was busy and that I wasn't his first priority but it still hurt when he stopped calling and texting. Daniel was still his mean abusive self and I knew he was the one constant I had in my life as sad as that is too say. My life continued as normal. I wake up, go to school, go home, do homework, go to work, come home, and do it all over again the next day.

I only had a few more weeks until it was my birthday and I would finally be able to age out of the system. My social worker and I had been looking for a little house that I could live in and I've been packing up the little possessions I had in preparation to move.

I finally felt like I could start living my own life. I would finally be able to start to heal all my brokenness and I knew it would be al long journey but it would be worth it. I would have liked Shawn to be by my side during this process because he was more than just a famous guy, he was a friend. He was my only friend but in order to start healing I would have to push him out of my mind. I would still support him and be their for him but I was just going to have to forget about the past few months. It honestly hurt to thing about the times we had because it reminded me of how much i missed him.

I had also started a Youtube channel and I had a small following on there. I had about 800 subscribers and I got a small amount of money for it but it was something. I only had a few videos up. Some of theme were covers and some were a few of my original songs. The few people who had discovered my channel seem to really like the content I put out. I had a tiny hope that this would all lead somewhere but I had to stay realistic.

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Brynlee's Point of View
-Brynlee's Birthday-

I place the last box down in my apartment and let out a big sigh. I turned in a circle and saw the few boxes I had brought to my little house. My house was small. There was one master bedroom, a small guest room, a half bathroom, a small kitchen/living room, and a decent size front yard. It was perfect for me and I honestly couldn't be happier.

I spent the next few hours placing everything where it belonged and making it as homey as possible with what little I had. I was now on my way into the city with my new car that was actually a used 2006 Honda Civic. I headed into Target to grab some groceries for dinner and the rest of the week. I also stopped to grab some pots and pans, towels, air freshener, pillow, fluffy blanket, and toilet paper.

I walked into the electronic isle, in search of headphones and a Bluetooth speaker. I found what i was looking for and was turning to walk out the isle when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I immediately turned around and was met with a guy in a hoody and baseball cap. Even under his disguise, I knew who he was. I didn't smile, I didn't jump for joy, and I didn't hug him. I wanted to so bad but i restrained myself. I refused to let him get close again because I know each time I let him in, he will hurt me mire and more. I know he doesn't mean to do it. He has a complicated life and I can't blame him for that.

He kind of just stared at my blank face. He was smiling but it slowly fell off his face. We both stood there awkwardly, waiting for someone to make a move but I wasn't ready to walk away because that's the only move I planned on making. I took in his features. He had a few pimples on the side of his face, there were deep bags under his eyes, his skin looked a little paler than usual. He was wearing gym shorts and a hoodie with black Nike's. I took a deep breath before I looked into his eyes and I saw the sorrow and regret in his eyes. He knows he hurt me and he felt bad about it. I didn't want him to feel bad, I already could see he was under a lot of stress.

"Hey..." His voice was just above a whisper and how strained it sounded broke my heart. I couldn't just walk away and leave him like this.

"Hi, how are you?" I kept my voice soft and made sure not to let any of my negative emotions seep through. I even tried to pull of a small smile.