H.O.P.E.|| S.M.

Hearts Don't Break Around Here

Brynlee's POV

I stood up and waved as I walked off the stage. I felt like I was in a daze over what just happened. It seemed so surreal to have just shard apart of me that I would never be able to get back but I feel so much lighter. It's like I'm finally putting my true self out there through my music. I don't have to hide in the shadows anymore, I can put myself out there. But being shoved into the light is scary so I'm just going to take it a step out at a time. They may not have even really liked me and this might not become anything. I'm happy just preforming in the little cafe.

Shawn walked over to me and gave me a huge hug and continued to give me compliments and telling me how great I did. I just hugged him back and ignored the soreness that came with it. As the high of the performance wore off, the negative thoughts flooded back into my mind and I came back to my sad, dark reality. I slowly pulled away and looked up at him. As he looked at me his smile slowly fell into a frown so I looked down at my feet.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Thank you for that opportunity, I should really be going now."

"Woah woah woah, what just happened. You were on top of the world two seconds ago and now you are upset. Did I do something wrong?" I felt bad for making him think he had done something wrong. If anything he has done everything right.

"No no, of course not, I'm just not feeling good. My anxiety is going haywire so I think I'm just going to calm down and head back into the crowd to enjoy the rest of the show." I tried to give him a smile but by the look of worry still present in his eyes.

"Can you come backstage after the show? I would really love to hang out with you." They worry in his eyes changed into hopefulness. I was almost going to say yes but then I remembered Daniel. I knew that I already was going to be in a lot of trouble when I get home but if I stay out any later it will be ten times worse.

"I'm sorry I can't. Maybe another time." I felt myself start to get fidgety and my palms getting clammy.

"Aww why not?"

"My umm parents need me home because they are um going out and they need me to babysit my um sister." I looked away from his eyes. I have always been such a terrible liar and hope he doesn't think I'm lying because I don't want to hang out with him. I wish I could just tell him everything but I know that I can't.

"Oh okay. Well I hope to see you again before I leave, if that's okay with you."

"Yeah that's fine. Just text me and I'll let you know when I'm free." I looked down and started to walk away. I felt someone's hand wrap around me, spin me around, and pull me to their chest. Just by the smell of their cologne, I knew it was Shawn.

"You didn't think that I was going to let you walk away without getting a hug, did you?"

"No I didn't" I laughed and wrapped my arms around him. It hurt a little but it was definitely worth it. I pulled away after a few minutes and began walking away. "Your fans are waiting for you." He laughed and gave me one of his famous smiles. His smile was contagious and caused me to give him one in return.

I had walked to the bathroom, splashed my face with water, and headed back out into the crowd. Throughout the show he would look and smile at me and I would smile back. It was kind of like a silent communication and I loved that we had that kind of bond.

-

I arrived home and quietly walked up the stairs in hope that Daniel was sleeping and not waiting up for me. I was able to make it to my room without any confrontations. I walked into my bathroom, took off my makeup, and put on my pajamas. I checked my cuts and struggled not to pick the scabs. I crawled into my bed, curled up in my blankets, and played on my phone.