as time goes by...

good news or bad news, you decide.

i cant stop pacing, why am i so worried? i mean really, he'll be happy, this is good news. he'll be happy. i'm happy. this is good news. its a good thing. i'm really excited. STOP BEING SO WORRIED! it will be fine, no not just fine, it will be great. this is going to be amazing, i can see it, i've imagined it enough times. 

i finally build up the courage to open the door to the room me and Jace share... he isn't there... this is weird. i look around the institute, all the places he could be, but i cant find him anywhere. there's one other place he could be, a bar down the road that he kind of likes, a mundie bar. i probably shouldn't be going to bar, what if there's smoking, isn't that dangerous? oh well, i have to tell him because i've only just been able to build up the courage to actually tell him. i run out of the institute and down to the street, fortunately its only a couple of blocks. 

i take a deep breath and walk inside. i cant see him. there's hardly anyone in the bar, wait... id know those blonde locks anywhere. 

'Jace, i have something really important to tell you, I'M P...' i'm speechless, i'm actually speechless. turns out Jace isn't alone in the bar.hes sat here with some blonde bimbo. nobody is saying anything, we're all kind of staring at each other. i spin on my heels and start to run towards the door, i hear jace clamber up behind me, i think hes trying to follow. i grab my stele out of my back pocket and sketch my very own portal rune on the door, i think of home and jump through. fortunately jace doesnt make it through after me so i have a head start in that sense. i grab my duffel from under my bed and pack everthing that belongs to me, if i leave anything behind they could use it to track me and i need a clean break from all of this.  when im sure that i have everything i leave the room and turn to shut the door behind me, at the other end of the hall i can hear Jace sprinting up the stairs, shit i forgot how fast he was. i scurry to the other side of the hall and slide into Alec's room, i don't think he'd mind because its not like he ever uses it anymore. on the dresser i see a pad and paper. considering i cant get out of this room without Jace seeing me and if i created a portal inside the institute they would be able to track it i decide to wait it out and write a farewell letter...

'my beautiful bestfriend izzy, 

I've got to go away for a while, and to be honest i don't think that i will ever be coming back. some real shit has happened to me recently, i found out some great news, only to see for myself that Jace was cheating. i cant deal with the insanity of the world we live in, the demons and all of the fighting is just too much, i wasn't raised like this, i'm not as strong as you. i've taken some weapons in case i need to protect myself, but hopefully i wont have to use them. tell Simon i love him, and tell Alec that he really did grow on me (and maybe i love him too a little bit), plus tell him thanks for the paper, since i'm in his room writing this note. i also want you to tell Jace that i'm not angry, i'm hurt and i have to say i feel betrayed but i'm not angry. know that i love you all, my family and i wish it would have been different, i cant tell you where i'm actually going because honestly i don't want you to know, i want to leave this world behind. don't tell the others i'm actually gone until they realise, even though it wont be long because i get the feeling Jace is about to shout down the institute. burn this letter my lovely, i don't want others to see it, its for your eyes only. i love you Isabelle, you were there for me so much and i'm sorry that i can no longer be there for you but i'm not only thinking of my self while i do this. 

i love you to the moon and back again you beautiful star,

forever grateful, 

                          clary. xxxxx'

after i'm sure that Jace isn't in our room anymore i sneak through the halls of the institute i make my way to Izzy's room and leave my note on her bed for her along with my favourite necklace, i want her to have it. after i leave her room i make my way out of the institute,and i walk for a couple of miles. when i'm tired of walking i create a portal and walk through, off to a safe place.