Lose Your Self // Jovani Jara

#24

Y/n's POV

    I run to my car, lock my self inside. "AAAGGHHH.." I punching the wheel like a thousand time and make my hand bleeding. I turning my car and leave the school, with high speed and it was raining but I just don't care it. I was so crazy rn, my mind was exploded, burning, I feel like the storm, the sun, and the wind was in my mind mixing like...I don't know but it worse. I drive my car to my house even tho the school isn't over, I just park my car on the middle of the road and run inside my house.

  I slam the door and walk upstairs "Y/n you still have school right now..!" my mom shouted and following me to my room but I locked my self in my room, close the window, turn off the light and sat on the corner. "Y/n open the door..! get your ass here and parked your car in right way, not like that! and you better go to school!" my mom shouted again while hitting the door, "no mom please.. just left me alone.." I walk to the door "here the key..." I give the key from under the door then go back to the corner.

   I hear her step walk away. 'beep' I got a text 'beep' I got another text, I opened my phone but just reading not answering it was from Theo and Julian. T : "where are you!?", J: "are you okay ?? please forgive him" and I was like 'can y'all just leave me alone for a week' said to my self. "I just want to sat here, alone, for a week.." I say weak, the tears start running down on my face. I only can crying for like 20 mins then 'tok tok..!' someone knocking my door "Y/n?" I hear a sound but I don't know who is that, "can you please open the door, just let me be with you, I know it is a hard time.. please forgive him..." wait that word, I ran towards the door, unlock it, without looking at the person I just hug him and crying on his chest

   "please don't be sad..." he said and I looked up. "my mom can hear us.." I pull him inside to my room and we sat on my bed, "wait.." he got up and turning the light on "better.." he sat back next to me "hey listen, it wasn't yours but him... just don't blame your self, I read all y'all chat.. I know you don't like being ignored. and I know that you .... love him right?" he said and I get shook "wh..what?.. how...?" I ask "the way you talk to him, look at him, hug him, are different... and your eyes it showing it...." he said "but I never showing it.." "you're not showing it but you feel it... and your feel is showed by it self.." he said softly "but please I won't ruin his life, and our friendship... but I don't wanna be like this too..." I looked down to my hand 

    "can you stay here for a night?... sometimes when I said I want stay here alone I feel like I wanna be with someone.. and I miss when y'all coming over to my house.. we spend our night with pizza everywhere " I said "and netflix.." he said with a weird face and that face can make me little bit smiling but that's mean. "okay.. I'll skipping the school and going to go home. I'll be back at 2..." we go downstairs. he left my house and go to his house.

   "thanks Ju.. you're the only one that I can talk to.. and the only one who know what I feel" I walk upstairs with smile on my face. telling someone about your problem it feels like you're got out from the hell... the worse feeling can be your happiness or a disaster