iNSaNiTY (Kid Icarus / Insane AU)

EXTRA

Parodies are fun.

"sAnIty"

-Cured

Pit and Dark were laying on the couch, enjoying each other's warm bodies. Pit's head rose when a question popped up in his mind.

"Dark?"

Dark looked at Pit and smiled after seeing Pit's face whenever he has a question.

"Yes?"

"Do you like the idea of adopting a kid?"

Dark's face went pale as he fell sideways.

-Be Safe

Dark opened the front door, which woke up Pit. Dark looked back and saw Pit boiling in anger. He stomped towards Dark and pointed at his face.

"I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME WITH SOMEONE!"

"What?! No! What are you-?!"

Pit moved his arm in a sassy way which made Dark flinch a little.

"AHA, YEAH! AS IF I WAS BORN YESTERDAY!"

Pit pushed Dark to the side and slammed the front door open.

"WHERE IS THAT BITCH?!"

Pit's eyes grew wide as he saw a woman carrying a box. Dark pulled him in to explain the situation.

"Pit, chill out. I ordered some pizza while you were sleeping."

-Caught

Pit felt the urge to cry but he refused to. Dark did not came back since the time he fell asleep. Suddenly, a few fits of desperate knocking made Pit jump. The knocking was so frantic the door broke open, revealing a hyped Magnus. Pit's sadness evaporated as his body got warmed up from anger.

"GOD DAMNIT MAGNUS! IT'S THE 3th TIME YOU BREAK THAT THING!!"

"I'm sorry man. I invite you a hot spring."

Pit's face shifted to happiness on a split second.

"Deal."

"By the way, we got your boo."

Pit's face dropped.

"Nigga-"

-Reveal

The cops alerted Divot to come out of the apartment. After him coming out, Pit saw Dark covered in red and eyes filled with terror.

"D-Dark...?"

"Ugh, she was on her period..."

"ಠ_ಠ"

-Identity

"WH-WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSSED T-THE ROAD?!"

Pit and Magnus sighed on unison. Dark was currently unstable and acting like a clown.

"Why?"

"CUZ YOU DIDN'T FUCKING COOK IT!"

Dark throws pans at both Pit and Magnus making them have amnesia.

-Shot

Pit cried as Dark took a shot. He watched as Dark fell backwards and his body twitched in some parts.

"Dark! Please! No! Stay with me!"

Dark's face became redder each second. Pit clenched his hands, gripping tightly the bottle of Vodka.

"I shouldn't have let you take all of those shots..."

-Lost

Pit and Magnus walked around the place and called Dark's name. Their voices were cracking up at this point.

"DARK!!"

"Goddamnit, Pit. I should have held him. Now he is walking around all drunk in the forest because of you!"

-Anger

"WELL IT ISN'T MY FAULT, BUT YOURS! YOURS BECAUSE YOU HESITATED TO HOLD HIM DOWN!"

"DO I LOOK LIKE I WANNA DIE TO YOU?! BITCH I'M NOT LIKE YOU WHO TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF MONTHS AGO!!"

"Bitch you did not-"

Pit kicked him in the nuts. That's when Pit saw Dark hanging upside down from a branch, making weird sounds.

-Hospital

Pit was worried that Dark would not survive the procedure. He took many shots, he was about to puke everywhere.

"Dark, relax!"

"How the fuck do you want me to relax when my stomach is BURNING?!"

"Well shit, yo. You drank the darn bottle not me."

The doctor appeared, pullong the curtains together. He got a glove on his hand as he walked near Dark.

"Alright, take your pants off and bend over."

Dark's skin got more white than what I usually color him in and screamed like a little girl.

---

That's it.