warm honey ▸ poetry

15 Overwhelmed

A room.
Full, but silent.

Mouths move, talking, but no words are heard.

People bump into me like i'm not even there.
Like I'm imaginary.

I'm pushed around,
left and right like a rag-doll.

I'm pushed to the floor,
but not to,
for I fall right through.

An abyss.

A scream is lodged in my throat.

I open my eyes.

Dark. Everywhere.

I try to move. My motions are slowed.

Cold. Everywhere.

Water. It surrounds me.

My lungs are begging for air.

I feel a fire take over my body.
From the peak of my head to the tips of my toes,
it spreads.

I try to inhale,
forgetting that here,
air doesn't exist.

Water seeps down my throat.

I choke.

I think tears are running down my face,
but I'm unable to tell.

It's not real.
I tell myself this over and over,
trying to believe it.

But it's far too late.

It is real.

Everything about this is real.

And I'm far too gone.

I'm sinking,
drowning in myself.

Maybe I should have listened when they told me Don't let your dreams get too big, for big dreams can crush a small girl like you.