warm honey ▸ poetry

81

i need to quiet the noise but it's like a run on sentence without any punctuation and it's starting to hurt my head day by day time ticks by and i wonder if the voices will ever grow tired but they don't and here i am stumbling over blurred keys as i figure out a way to quiet the noise to quiet the noise to make them shut up please shut up enough is enough i know you hate me i know you think i'm stupid and ugly and mean and worthless and i know you want me dead DEAD dead and cold and lifeless you make me so empty and so miserable not even my therapist can offer a hand and this run on sentence can only go for so long before i get tired and throw in a period or maybe an exclamation point who knows maybe i want to go out in style maybe i want to go out with a bang maybe i want everyone who ever hurt me to hurt so badly when i'm gone because i'm so fucking sick of this stream of consciousness that keeps biting my ankles and pulling my hair like a toddler i'm so sick of this stream of consciousness i need it to end my english teacher or god someone is yelling at me to put proper punctuation to just end my damn sentence already but i can't i can't bring myself to do it and i'm scared and i'm alone and its doing my head in its been twenty one years my story has just started i'm screaming but something is fighting back something is not happy with that decision and i need it to end i need it to fucking end i need them to go away i need silence i don't remember the last time i felt clarity i feel like i'm running in a circle glass half empty please i'm begging you leave me alone shut up SHUT UP