warm honey ▸ poetry

7

i never made promises - i never have and i never will. which is why, when you promised me that you loved me, i was hesitant.

no one had ever made such a promise to me before. no one had ever cared so much as you did. you didn't know what you were doing when you lit that little spark in my heart. and i, so innocent and pure to the world, didn't know your plans.

so, i decided to trust you. i decided to trust those words that are so often thrown around. and i said it back. softly and almost completely inaudible, but you caught it and you smiled, delighted features hiding the cowardly bastard inside.

a huge chunk of time had passed and we grew more in love. or, at least, i did. because in all reality it was just you digging my grave deeper and deeper everyday, and me? i was falling obliviously into it, burying myself.

a tragedy.

it was the day of my seventeenth birthday. we had been dating for a little over a year and a half. senior year was starting in a few weeks. this school year had to be absolutely golden for i had big plans for my future - you were included in all of them.

but you, oh you devious son of a bitch you.

you led me out into the garden, my favorite place in my house. my place of peace, if you wish to call it that.

you held me close, your large hands intertwined with my much smaller ones, our faces mere inches apart. you said you had some news.

i hummed a response and you leaned in. your lips were against my ear, whispering words that i never would have thought to come out of your mouth. harsh words, every syllable knocking the wind out of my lungs.

when you stepped back, your hazel eyes were ten shades darker and filled with something almost violent. i felt a tear start to roll down my cheek and i wiped it away angrily. no. i would not cry here, not in front of you. you can't see me like this, you don't deserve to see me like this.

you reached down and tucked a curl of hair behind my ear, the smirk never leaving your lips. you moved back, gently dragging your hand down my jawline as you took one step. two steps. three steps. and then, as if in the blink of an eye, you were gone.

i was alone. i stood there, staring blankly at my bare feet in the dying grass. i didn't say anything, i didn't scream or yell. i was numb, your words repeating in my head like a broken record player:

i had never really loved you. it was all just a game. and games have to come to an end sooner or later, sweetheart.