The Last Ones Left

Chapter 19: Struggle

SPRING 

7 DAYS LATER

We left the house about 7 days ago, and now we're finally close to the hospital. We're walking down the highway when I see a painting on the wall, I walk over to it as Joel continues on walking forward. As soon as I walk up to it I see that it's a dear. Flashbacks of David flood through my mind, I was almost raped, I almost died. Stop Ellie, don't think about that. "Ellie!" I hear Joel yell from behind me, I quickly turn around and look at him "Did you hear me?" he asks, I shake my head no. He points behind him "Look, hospital, this is where we get off" he says and continues walking forward. "Let's go baby" I trail behind him not wanting to catch up to him, he looks at me occasionally but I guess he doesn't know something's wrong. I just need to stop thinking about David, that whole thing is over with. Even if I don't think about him anymore he's left a scar physically and mentally, I can never forget that. "Heh? You feel that breeze huh? I tell you on a day like this. I'd just sit on my porch and pick away at my six string" I hear Joel say, I smile slightly while still looking at the ground, I'm not really in a mood for talking right now. Actually I just want to be alone, or dead underground somewhere. 

David messed me up, I can't stop thinking about how I killed all of those people. "-I'm gonna teach you how to play guitar, I'd recon you'd really like that" I barely hear Joel say, honestly I'm not paying attention to him all that much. "Whaddya say, huh?". I mean, I killed so many people, how's a person- "Ellie, I'm talking to you" I look up to see Joel's standing right in front of me "Huh? Oh yeah, sure, that sounds great" I nod. I feel bad for not telling Joel about my feelings right now, I mean I tell him everything, but I can't talk about this. I don't know if I ever can, what happened back there was gruesome. I was a monster. Joel studies my face for a few seconds but then I brush past him, I won't talk about it. Joel sighs but continues on walking behind me, I watch as he goes into an RV so I just stand outside and wait. I look around and see a bus with an advertisement about a plane on it, I had a dream about a plane last night actually. Just then Joel walks out of the car and makes his way over to me, I could talk about my dream, it'll get my mind off of David for a while. "I dreamt about flying last night" I say randomly, Joel looks at me with curiosity "Go on, tell me about it" he smiles at me then grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers, we start walking towards the hospital again. 

"So, I'm on this big plane full of people, and everyone is screaming and yelling 'cause the plane's going down. So I walk to the cockpit, open the door, but there's no pilot. I try to use the controls, but... I obviously have no idea how to fly a plane. And right before we crash, I wake up" I finish my story and Joel just nods "I've never been on a plane... Isn't that weird?" I ask and look up at him. "Hmpf. Well, you know, dreams are weird" is all he says. "Yeah" I mutter. We walk up to a quarantine zone sign, practically all of the zones are abandoned by now. "Look at that... Another city, another abandoned quarantine zone" Joel says as we pass by it. Joel lets go of my hand and climbs up on the cars to get over the gate, as soon as his hand leaves mine I feel myself become immediately sad again, it's weird the effect he has on me. "There's that hospital the firefly mentioned, c'mon Ellie" I climb up onto the cars behind him then jump down over the gate. I follow Joel into an old bus station "Maybe we can cut through here, huh?" he says, I don't respond. I don't really want to. I walk down the steps behind him but instead of following him, I sit down on the bench close to the front of the station. I need to stop thinking about David, he's dead, all of his friends are dead, he should be a distant memory. But I repeatedly see his bloody, bruised, dead face in my mind everytime I close my eyes. My dream about the plane is the only time in the past 3 weeks that I haven't had a nightmare about him. Joel keeps me sane. I don't think he knows about the nightmares either, he usually sleeps through my screaming.