TMR Glader Imagines

Newt imagine | Just Let Me Sleep

⚠︎Trigger Warnings⚠︎

Wake up.
Eat.
Work.
Eat.
Work.
Eat.
Sleep.
Start over.

The same pattern for 3 years. It keeps repeating. Nothing ever changes. You're losing hope. What keeps you going is them; the wonderful people surrounding you. Your best friends; Thomas, Newt, Minho, Ben, Gally, Frypan, Chuck, Alby, all of them. You love them all like brothers. That is, all of them except one. His shy, sweet and selfless nature has melted your heart every single day since you got here. His fluffy, blond hair and deep, brown puppy eyes. He is the closest thing to flawless a person could be. Newt. Him you love, and not as a brother.He keeps you going even when you've lost all hope. You've often wondered how it would be if you just disappeared someday... they would have a mouth less to feed and a soul less to worry about. But they need as much help as they can get. You try your best to bring them hope and happiness, even though you've lost yours. You're willing to risk anything and everything to get them out of here. To safety. Nobody knows about these feelings, and none of them knows about your feelings for Newt. No one knows about the thoughts that go through your head every night as you fall asleep. You cover everything up with a smile and a laugh, and you've grown pretty good at it.

"Y/N, the box is here!" Chuck shouts. You look up from the plant you're digging up. You've been so deep in thought that you had overheard the alarm. Every time the box comes up, a small bag of items with your name labelled on it is sent up along with the crates and sacks of more general supplies. One of very few perks of being the only girl in this place. Before it goes back down, you throw the bag back in there with a small list of new requests. You grab the bag and take it to your room. Hopefully it's here. At the bottom of the bag you find a small jar of baby blue pills labelled 'Sleeping pills'. You knew it had been a stretch to request sleeping medication, but you've been struggling sleeping so much lately you thought you'd give it a try. You read the label.

Sleeping pills - Take 35 minutes before desired time of sleeping.
Warning: Daily intake of 1-2 pills is not to be exceeded.
Overdose may result in sickness, coma or death.

Well isn't that cheerful? You think to yourself. At least I'll be able to sleep at night now. You unpack the rest of the items in the bag and write a new list.

- Period supplies
- Warmer clothes
- A pair of gardening gloves
- Pencils (I'm running out)
- A new empty diary (I filled the old one in)
- More sleeping pills.

You stick the paper slip into the bag and walk back to the box. The Gladers are unloading the supplies from the Box.

"Care to help out?" Gally grunts as he tries to lift a particularly large crate.

"Of course." You 'smile' and toss the bag down into the Box before lending Gally a hand.

That night you try out the pills for the first time. After dinner you go to your room and take just one pill. Just one for now, I'll see how well it works and decide wether I might need two later on. You decide to go for a walk around in the glade while waiting for the medication to take effect. When you get back to your room, you write a short diary page and lie down on the beed. It's been a long time since you felt this relaxed the last time. Mere seconds later you're asleep. A deep, dreamless sleep.

The sun wakes you up. It's shining through the small gaps in the crooked makeshift walls. You feel less tired than usual after such a good night's sleep. Those pills are effective. Getting out of bed, you hear the clamouring and chatting of breakfast - you must have overslept. You rush to the breakfast tables and slip down next to Newt as discreetly as possible. A few of the guys greet you.