•Annabelle•

Chapter 5

I could feel everybody watching me with hatred filled eyes, I didn't dare look up. Instead my eyes wandered down to Josh's white, sports shoes.

"See, he can't even defend himself!" Josh laughed, and I could taste blood as I bit down on my lip.

I scrambled away from everyone, not caring about weather I pushed someone.

With tears welling in my eyes and with trembling fingers, I pulled open the door, and the cool air smacked me in the face.

The air outside was as cold as the pain dwelling inside of me. How could someone be so cruel?

As I ran along the breaking path, I thought about how the day had started so warm and hope filled, but then quickly erupted into a cold storm.

From behind me, it almost sounded like the striking wind was calling out my name.

"Jason...."

But it wasn't the wind, it was Lily quickly catching up to me.

"Jason!" I knew I couldn't out run her, she basically had the speed of an Olympic athlete. So I just stood there, shaking with cold bitterness, this weather was definitely not a plus.

She sped to my side, her cheeks as rosy as ever as she huffed, "Jason, you can't always run away like this."

"Why not?" I started walking again, having to keep moving, I can't stay still.

"Because it's not your fault-"

I quickly interrupted her, my anger pulsing, "You know very well that it was my fault! Don't you dare deny it, you of all people!"

"Jason.... Jason wait!" She grabbed my hand in attempt to stop me from going but I shook her off.

"Just stop it! None of you people seem to have a clue how to deal with me, so just don't try!" my failing limbs carried me forward, and I bit back my pounding grief.

"Please, I've already lost one friend, must I lose another?" Lily's voice was quiet, almost like she hadn't dared say it. But she was right, she was losing me; everyone was losing me.

I stopped in my tracks, too weak with despair to walk any farther, "Lily..." I closed my eyes, feeling as if I was twisting my heart, "You might as well lose me now, before... before you end up like her."

After I spoke the painful words, I found myself drifting to the ground, not sure if I was falling or willingly buckling down. I sat on the uneven concrete, hugging my knees close to myself, unable to look at Lily.

"Everyone always seems to get hurt because of me, so it's probably for the best if you just leave me be."

She was quiet for a long time, and for a second I had thought she had left until she sat down at my side; hugging me close.

"As much as you would like to think that this is all your fault and that you're the reason for everyone's pain, you're lying to yourself. None of this is your fault, and you need to realize that."

"But, I should've held my anger... If only I-"

"No, there was nothing you could've done to prevent this from happening."

I wanted to believe her, I really did, and I almost had for a second.

We sat in silence, the only sound to be heard was our cold, shaking, vibrating teeth and the whistle of the wind.

But the silence broke when Lily had started to hum, a gentle, quiet sort of hum. When I started to fidget to be able to hear her better she stopped, "Sorry."

"Oh no, please, keep humming." I closed my eyes, "I was just trying to hear it better."

She soon started humming again, I could feel her fingers tapping to the tempo.

"Actually, can you sing the song too?" I wanted to hear it, I wanted to savour every lyric like a sweet drink.

She was hesitant at first, but slowly she began to sing,

"I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go. When all those shadows almost killed your light..."

The melody was soothing, soothing like a melodic hug.

This was the song Lily sang at Annabelle's funeral...

The day of the funeral was quiet, even the crickets had quieted their music; the birds hadn't sung either.

On that day it had seemed the weather didn't know what to do, it kept shifting from sunshine to dark clouds. It was like it wasn't sure if it should cover the sky with clouds for grieving, or shine the sunshine upon the earth to honour her.

The church where we held the sermon had rested upon a flower covered hill, and the stained glass windows showed brightly coloured pictures of crosses and doves.

This was the Christian Church Annie had practically grown up in, oh the amount of times she had brought me along with her. I used to go all the time, but ever since the funeral I've been reluctant to go.

Row upon row the pews were filled with people, her friend's, her family, her loved ones. There was much crying, and yet, there was also a kindle of laughter. Before it had started several people had gathered in a circle and talked about all the great memories they had of her. One of her grandparent's had turned to her mother and had said, "My, I remember when she was probably about 5 years old, I was folding the laundry when she had snuck into the kitchen and ate all of the cookies we had baked. Oh man when I had found her she was absolutely too cute to discipline! We had quite a good laugh."

All of the memories were sweet, but I couldn't utter one of them myself. The whole funeral I basically had sulked in my grievance, it wasn't until Lily had walked up onto the tiny, brown stage that I could take my eyes off the ground. She had tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face, "Annabelle, well, she was the best of friends one could have. She was always there for you, ready to help you with anything you needed." I remember her taking a long pause, her eyes had darted to mine, "She always saw the best in people, and made their light shine. Annabelle was a one in a million, a four leaf clover in a clover patch. She was special, she saw things in ways I would never have even thought of. She saw things with beauty and wonder. I remember when we had first met, my, was it years ago. It was in 8th grade and my parents were going through a divorce. I had never felt so alone during that time, my heart had felt like there was a hole in it; like I was missing something. I started failing in class, losing friendships with people, and I just felt like I couldn't do anything anymore. But then one day as I was getting ready to go home, she just walked up to me and simply asked if I was okay. I had lied to her, told her I was fine. But she saw through my façade and she had said 'no you're not.' and she had gave me a big hug. I felt like somebody finally knew me, our friendship quickly grew and she started to take me to this church. It didn't take long until I myself became a Christian, and I absolutely cannot wait until I join Annabelle in Heaven."

After Lily's speech she sang "Safe and Sound" in dedication to her. It was beautiful, and it is the only song I can listen to now.