Saviors

13

   Days whirled by. Jihoon's sickness left eventually and everyone seemed too busy to give him too much thought. Everything was back to normal, though life wasn't very normal in the first place.

   Jihoon spun in his chair, his eyes never leaving the ceiling. All the songs were finished, everyone had recorded, choreography had been created, and music videos have been shot. There was nothing to do. Nothing but waiting and killing time with practicing things that they had practiced over 10,000 times.

   Jihoon looked at his calendar. Two days. Two whole days until they debut. It was too long. Everyone was going crazy with the wait.

   The ticking of the clock steadily grew louder in Jihoon's ears, until he was smothered in the silence of sleep.

   Something brushed his cheek, pulling him from the deep black around him. He shot up in his chair when he saw someone standing before him. The person stepped back just in time to not get his head bumped by Jihoon's.

   "Tired?" Soonyoung asked.

   Jihoon sighed and contemplated lying. What was the point? "Yes." He said simply.

   "From the wait?" Jihoon shrugged and looked away. Soonyoung sat down in the other desk chair. Nothing had really been the same between him and his members since his dream. His dream about Jihyo. And they knew. They noticed. They knew nothing was the same. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"What?"

"I think it's an American saying. Will you tell me what your thinking?"

"Oh. Nothing much. Just..." he took a risk, a risk that would probably cost him, "everything is changing."

"Do you not want to debut?"

"It's not that," he said quickly, "it's just, nothing. Don't mind me." It wasn't that Jihoon didn't want to debut, it was that, he was afraid of what it would bring. Being famous. If people liked him, they would want to know almost everything about him. Meaning his past. If they didn't like him, then what was he supposed to do with himself? He didn't really have a backup plan. Either way was not good for him.

"You're doing it again." Soonyoung tilted his head and looked at Jihoon, a silly expression in his face.

"What?"

"You're zoning out, thinking about something. What are you thinking about?" And at that moment, seeing Soonyoung's earnest and open expression, Jihoon really wanted to tell him everything.

He stared at Soonyoung, mouth slightly agape. The words were there. Pressing up in his throat, ready to come tumbling out. Then, realizing what telling Soonyoung would cost him, he pressed his mouth into a firm line then looked away. Soonyoung just sighed.

"We will always be here for you Jihoon. In case you ever want to talk." His voice was disappointed but his face showed understanding. Soonyoung stood up and patted Jihoon on the shoulder, making him flinch. Soonyoung gave him an extra long look before walking out of the room.

"I'm sorry." Jihoon whispered once he thought that Soonyoung was gone.

"I know." Soonyoung whispered in the other side of the door. Oblivious, Jihoon turned back to his desk.

"Anything?" Seungcheol asked as Soonyoung walked away from the closed door.

"He... wants to talk. But he won't let himself." Soonyoung sighed, for some reason, he was emotionally drained.

"We'll just have to hope that he opens up on his own time." They both looked sadly towards the door then sat down next to their members who were waiting for them. Soonyoung and Seungcheol shook their heads at the member's questioning looks. They were all silent for a moment, as if in mourning.