Saviors

27

Jihoon curled up in the darkness of the shadow place. Curled up like a baby. A baby. He was a baby. A giant baby wanting his mother. He couldn't stand being there anymore. He had a life, he knew he did, but how much would it take to go back? Was it even possible? How much time had passed? Was he dead? So many questions, but no answers. Why was he here? How was he here? What was here?

Jihoon felt empty again. The past couple of... of what? Days? Hours? Minutes? He had been better, his savior was there. But nothing changed. He was just tired, of living like this. Was he even living even more?

For the first time in... a while... Jihoon cried.

He was so fed up with living, being like this. He was tired of it. He was tired of it. When was the end? When would it end? Would it end? Will it end? He was so confused, so scared, so tired. He wanted all this to end.

~

Soonyoung heard Jihoon crying in the bunk below him, which was surprising. Jihoon hadn't cried for a couple of days. Soonyoung thought he had gotten better. So why was he crying?

Soonyoung quickly climbed down the bunk bed and placed his hand on Jihoon's shoulder, attempting to shake him awake, but Jihoon fought it. Jeonghan and Seungcheol shifted in their bunks from the noise.

   "Jihoon. Jihoon!" Soonyoung called softly. The said boy gripped Soonyoung's shirt in his tiny hands but still cried. He grabbed Jihoon's cheeks in his hands and wiped away the younger boy's tears with his thumbs. It had calmed Jihoon down before, so Soonyoung trusted him to calm down now as well. 

Jihoon's crying slowed to whimpers and he clung to Soonyoung. "Jihoon. Look at me." Jihoon's head slowly raised, a sign that he heard Soonyoung, if only a little bit. Soonyoung grabbed Jihoon's hands and stared into his eyes. "Jihoon. Jihoon. We love you, you know that right? We love you a lot. We are your family. We will take care of you, you just have to trust us. You just have to trust me. I will take care of you. I will protect you. You just have to hear me, you just have to look at me, see me. See me, Jihoon. See me." Soonyoung's soft, kind words pulled Jihoon from the dark place he was in and he saw. He saw Soonyoung in front of him.

Soonyoung knew that Jihoon could actually see him for once, fully. But he knew that if he didn't do something to fully pull him away from the dark place he goes to, Jihoon would fade back into the place that plagues his thoughts and steals his mind. He had to do something surprising, something to jar Jihoon back to now. He had to do his plan.

His plan. His plan that he came up with as soon as the psychiatrist said that Jihoon needed to be shocked. Soonyoung was nervous. His plan, it was finally time for his plan. But would it work? What if it didn't? What would they do then? All of his members were counting on him. What if he failed?

With his heart pounding a nervous rhythm in his chest, Soonyoung cupped his hands around Jihoon's face once again, and slowly moved forward.

Jihoon's eyes were wide with the things he saw, the things he hadn't seen in almost three weeks. Jihoon's senses were being overloaded. His breath caught in his throat. What was Soonyoung doing?

Soonyoung slowly tilted his head, his heartbeat frantic. He pressed his lips against Jihoon's and Jihoon's wide eyes widened even more. At the contact, Jihoon felt like there were electric undercurrents running underneath his skin. He had not felt a human's touch in a long time. Jihoon gasped against Soonyoung's lips, which were surprisingly soft. Surprisingly? What was he saying? Why was it surprising? Why wouldn't he have soft lips? Why would Jihoon even be thinking about that? A blush unknowingly rose to Jihoon's cheeks, but he didn't move away from Soonyoung. In fact, he didn't move at all. Jihoon was as still as a statue as Soonyoung kissed him. A kiss. Soonyoung was kissing him. Why was Soonyoung kissing him?

   But...

   The  most important question was, did he like it?

   No. What was he thinking? He couldn't like it, it was his member. He... he couldn't... that's not... good... is it?

   Soonyoung leaned into Jihoon a bit, surprising him. He moved his hand to behind Jihoon's head. Jihoon pulled back.

   "S-Soonyoung Hyung, w-why are you k-kissing me?" Jihoon's voice was raspy from lack of use. Soonyoung leaned back and blushed.

   "Sorry, I think I got a little carried away. I only meant to... holy crap it worked!" Jihoon cocked his head, confused. "You... you're talking! Hyung! Hyung!" Seungcheol and Jeonghan woke up at Soonyoung's calls.

   "What is it Soonyoung?" Jeonghan asked crankily. Soonyoung excitedly beckoned them over. They crowded around Jihoon's bed and he leaned away from them, not used to people except for his dead sister.

   "Jihoon!" Seungcheol exclaimed.

   "N-ne?" Their mouths dropped and they hugged Jihoon. He tensed up until they let him go.

   "It worked!"

   "What did you do Soonyoung?" Both Soonyoung and Jihoon blushed. Jihoon still looked slightly shell-shocked. Though, it could've been from the reality he had been living in until then, or the kiss.

   "I... can't tell you." He mumbled, his face entirely red. Jihoon looked at them with tired eyes.

   "Maybe we should let you sleep, Jihoon. You can tell us everything tomorrow." Jeonghan said, noticing Jihoon's drooping eyelids.

   "But," Soonyoung mumbled sadly, "what if he forgets everything once he wakes up?"

   "Then you could do whatever you did tonight again if that happens." Seungcheol decided. Jihoon blushed. He didn't want Soonyoung to kiss him again tomorrow. Did he? Why was he questioning himself? He must keep his distance, at least until he tells them everything. Then they'll keep their distance from him. But will he still tell them? He must, right? He owes them an explanation, at least. But it might take a while to work up the courage. Maybe, once everything settles down... he'll tell them. Once he gets used to being out of the shadow place. Out of that room.