Saviors

26

   Blood smeared on the walls like an abstract painting that you were supposed to decipher yourself. Blood soaking the carpet, staining the sheets, dripping off the bedside table. Her mouth opening, blood, black and thick and sticky, pouring out. Filling the room with its copper scent. Blood up to his ankles, knees, waist, shoulders, neck. Finally, over his head. He let it wash over him, instead of fighting it like usual. But, like usual, he died. Dead in that room like his sister.

   He 'awoke' in the gray space. It was fuzzier than usual though, like static. He waded through the fog with aching limbs that cleansed the blood from his clothes. He didn't know where he was going. Usually when he was in the gray space, he sat and cried. But Jihoon was tired of that. He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't care. He didn't even know if he was going anywhere.

   Jihoon had gone quite a ways in the gray space, even though it still looked the same. He stopped, feeling something on his face. A warm light pressure on his cheeks, like that of someone holding his face. He could feel someone staring intently at him, though he couldn't see them. It wasn't uncomfortable, it made him feel safe. The pressure on his face left, and he felt weak. The the safe feeling of being watched over didn't leave though, and he felt better. He wasn't alone.

   Every time Jihoon visited the room, he didn't feel quite as scared. He was being watched over. He had a faint memory of something other than the room, his savior. He had forgotten about his savior, until now. His savior cared. His savior comforted him. His savior cried with him, instead of for him. He couldn't remember who his savior was, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that his savior was there. When he was in the room, his savior was there. When he was drowning in blood, his savior was there.

   The gray space wasn't so gray anymore. He could see faint outlines of shapes, like instead of being fully blind, he was just mostly blind. Jihoon knew it was because of his savior.

~

   "He's better, I swear." Soonyoung argued.

   "How so?" Seungcheol asked.

   "He doesn't seem as blank. He's more... here."

   "If you say so. But is this your plan? It's taking a long time. It's been a week and a half since he's been like this. And he isn't much better."

   "No, I haven't done my plan yet. I need to prepare for it." Soonyoung blushed slightly and fiddled with his fingers.

~

   Jihoon spent most of his time in the gray space nowadays. He decided to call it the shadow space instead of the gray space because there were more shades of gray now, and of course, there were shadows.

   He was just wandering when he felt something being pressed into his hand. His fingers curled around a round object. Jihoon looked down. An apple. An apple just suddenly appeared in his hand. The brightness of the red hurt his eyes. Everything was gray and black in the shadow space, and the only other color he saw was a deep blood red, not this bright red. He wondered how long it had been since he last ate. An hour? A day? A week? If it was a month, he would be dead. Was he dead? This could be hell... inescapable and repetitive. Perhaps he was in hell for not saving his sister. Perhaps she blamed him. Perhaps the apple was a test. Perhaps it was another way to torture him. There were a lot of perhaps. Jihoon decided to eat the apple.

~

   Soonyoung watched Jihoon place the apple to his lips and take a small bite. His heart leapt into his throat and he jumped up and silently cheered, not wanting to scare Jihoon. If he could even hear him. At all.

   "Hyung. Hyung!" He called quietly for the leader of Seventeen. Seungcheol came running.

   "What? What is it?!" Soonyoung pointed to Jihoon, who was slowly eating the apple, as if he was expecting to be poisoned like Snow White any minute. A slow grin spread over Seungcheol's face and he high-fived Soonyoung. The clapping sound echoed in the empty kitchen and they both froze. Jihoon jumped and stopped mid-bite. He flicked his eyes around frantically and the half eaten apple rolled out of his hand and hit the table. Soonyoung and Seungcheol sighed.

~

   Jihoon dropped the apple and watched it get swallowed into the shadows, lost forever. What was that sound though? Never had a sound ever been so clear and loud. Here, everything was muffled. Jihoon didn't think he could speak, even if he tried. The shadows pressed on him and his surroundings, creating a strange space for him to reside in.

~

Soonyoung held up the half-eaten apple as proof and relieved smiles broke out on the member's faces. Jisoo threw an arm over Jihoon's shoulders. Jihoon was always with them when they had these meetings on his improvements, though he didn't say or do much. But that was expected.

"His eyes do look less sad." Seungkwan noted. "Before he looked like he was about to cry any moment, now they seem kind of... I don't know. Peaceful? But not peaceful. You all know what I mean right?" The members looked at each other for help deciphering what Seungkwan just said, but everyone just lightly shrugged. Only Chan seemed to understand.

"I get what you mean Hyung!" Seungkwan ruffled the maknae's hair, making him pout and attempt to fix his messy hair.

~

This time, a tiny bowl of rice was pressed into Jihoon's hands. His hands barely fit around the bowl, and for a moment, he felt like a child. But he didn't like it. He didn't like feeling like a child. Instead of bringing him joy, it brought him flashes of dark memories in the shadow space. All that he remembered was that something was wrong with his childhood. Picking up the chopsticks, he began to eat.

Jihoon felt no hunger or thirst in the shadow space, but he ate because he was human, and that was what humans did. It was a habit.

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Thank you everyone for taking the time to read and comment and like, since this is my first fanfic, I really appreciate the support.