Chapter 10: Guilt

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Suga looked at me when I gave his phone back.
"So what did she say?" Suga asked.
"She was exited to get to know you" I said, looking down.
"What's wrong?" Suga asked worried.
"Nothing" I said with a smile.
But I had this weird feeling, whatever it was, i hated it.

-Time Skip inspired of Rapmon breaking stuff-
I had been with the boys for about 10 days.
Everyday was filled with laughter and fun.
Nari and I had been texting a little back and forth.
But something was odd with Nari.

Suga found me in the kitchen. I was staring in the wall while sitting by the counter.

"What's up (Y/N)? The smile of your's is rarely showing these days.
"I feel something is wrong... I know Nari very good, but everytime I ask how home was, I felt she was kind of pushy the topic away. And Look."

I showed Suga the first text.
"It's all right!, Really! it's really calm and quiet, like always"
I began to think how to explain.
"It's kind of hard to explain, but I feel that something happened while I was here."
I felt guilt run through my whole body.
The thought of putting Nari in a position, and how horrible person I had become.

My dearest friend, ally, cousin, person in my life.
I could never do something that made her sad or unhappy, Never.

He looked at me worried.
It was hard to realize what I had done, it was harder to tell everyone, even just Suga. He has been with me all this time. And before I knew it. I fell for him.

"Sorry, I forgot to do something" I said walking out of the kitchen and to Suga's room.

The moment I stepped in the room, I broke down.
How could I be so blind.
Nari would of course never tell me how it really was at home.

Tears were streaming down my face.
I could feel two arms around me, and the warmth ran through my body.

I turned around and saw Suga sitting beside me.
Not knowing what to say, or how to explain, I hugged him.
My head was buried in his chest, and I started crying again.
Suga's hand was on my head, stroking my hair, and on my back.

After my tears started to stop, I looked at Suga.
"I think it is time to go home"

"What?"
"I have been here for too long"

"Is something wrong here? Are the guys too noisy? Did I do something?"

"No! It's nothing about here, just that... I have this feeling that Nari is doing something she shouldn't."

"Like what?"

"Take responsibility for my action"

"BUT! IF YOU GO BACK! YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED TO A STRANGER!!" Suga said with a raised voice.

I looked up at him, smiling.

"I could never live my life knowing Nari is unhappy because of selfish me"

Suga didn't like my idea of returning home.
It was hard to see him like that. I didn't want him to leave me, and I didn't want to leave him. The longer I stayed, my feelings for him grew stronger.
I wanted to be with him, but my fate didn't have Suga in it.

"I understand..." He said sad.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be. It's your choice."

"It's was really tought choice to take, but I won't run away anymore."

The next thing I saw was Suga's blond hair. He was hugging me, and his head was on my shoulder.

"Please, just don't forget us.
Don't forget me"

I hugged him back
"I could never forget you Suga. After everything, you were always by my side. Thank you!"

We went downstairs together. Suga held my hand tight as I told them about me returning home.
Hani was over because she started to hang out with Jin.
"You can't return home so soon! We were just getting to know each other" she said, getting tears in her eyes.
"Don't worry Hani. Even if I can't hang out with you guys like before, we can always text!"

Watching Hani getting teared up, made me get tears too. 

I don't want to leave these people, but I had no choice.


Later that night, the boys drove me home.
J-hope was driving while Jimin was in the front seat.

I sat in the middle with Suga and Rapmon beside me.

Behind me was Jin, Kookie and V.
After 5 min with driving, I started to know where we were, and got nervous and scared all of the sudden.
My hand started shaking and I quickly took Suga's hand. He looked at me, probably shocked, but I just looked down. I could feel his grip tighten as I looked at our hands. 

The minutes started to pass slowly. 

And after an eternity of driving, we were almost there.

"J-hope... please stop the car" I said.

He parked the car right beside a sidewalk. 

Everyone looked at me.
"I think it is best for me if I walk from here."

"Are you sure?" J-hope said.

I nodded
"It is pretty dark outside now, and could be dangerous" Rapmon said.
"It's more dangerous to be with you than outside" Kookie said.

The boys started to laugh.

I smiled as I was ready to get out of the black van.

Suga stepped out first, and then I jumped out of the van.


Suga looked at me with the most beautiful eyes from the moon. His arm was reaching for me, and soon, he was hugging me. I put my small arms around his big back and didn't want to let go.

His arms was starting to loose, and soon he let go of me.

"See ya" he said.

"I see you soon" I said smiling.
He got into the black van and they started to drive away from me.

But not afar from me, the van stopped again. 
I could see the blonde hair and baggy clothes from Suga.

The van was driving away from us, as I ran towards Suga.
"What's up?" 

"I walk with you, please. I can't say goodbye now."
"Okay, this way" I said leading the way.


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