bloodline :: philkas

trei

lukas

god damn it. i got a headache and an empty stomach, due to that fucking kid. i say kid like he's much younger than me, but in reality, that boy is probably the same age or just one to three years younger than me. so i had to find some random person to get blood from, which was also disappointing. same old thick, metallic taste. i got bored of it, i needed something new. i needed that boy's blood.

i'm going to fucking drain him the next time i get my hands on him.

it's a strong desire i have at the moment. but everyone has desires, right? you can't deny that every person dead or alive, has or had a desire for something. some desires happen to be more disturbing than others, but it really depends on the person's character and their actions. i've read about several aggressive, harmful, erotic, and sexual behaviors that many serial killers have experienced. why? because i was bored and feeling sadistic that day.

sadism. it's a strange concept. it's deriving pleasure from the suffering of another. everyone is a sadist, some are just more likely to admit it. i tend to feel sadistic only when i'm pissed. i want to see someone in pain, preferably inflicted by me, when i'm irritated. being able to take out my anger on someone else would make me happy. that boy from last night seemed like the perfect person for me to unleash my sadistic tendencies on. he's cute and all, but he was getting on my nerves when when he refused to let me have some of his blood. i will find him again.

i'm much faster and stronger than him, why didn't i take the chance? i literally could've crushed his tiny throat, and ran after him in a second. but i didn't, and i wish i did. part of me wants to kill the boy. the other part of me wants to keep him alive, but torture him slowly. i just really want to see him in pain.

and with that final thought, i climbed into bed and got under the covers to sleep. i didn't really need to, though. but sleeping even for a little bit helped make me feel more human. it helped me feel more alive. so i tried my best to sleep.

i ended up sleeping until 9:54 am, which was a new record for me. i got about 7 hours of sleep, which didn't affect how i felt when i got out of bed. but i did wake up craving ice cream, so i decided that i would go to my favorite baskin robbins later today. i always went at random times, and always got the same flavor. vanilla. it's basic, but it tasted good and that's all that mattered to me.

i wonder what my new neighbor is like. would it be rude to not bring a house warming gift? it wouldn't be, i would just be dropping by to say hi anyway. i'll do it after i snack on something.

i went over to my bathroom, washing my face, brushing my teeth and doing my daily routine before changing clothes. since i was going to go out today, i decided to wear black skinny jeans, a dark gray shirt with a gray flannel. i honestly didn't know how many black skinny jeans i owned, but i know that i wore a different pair every time. well, every time that i did my laundry. i really needed to wash my clothes again soon, i think i've been wearing the same pair of sweatpants to sleep for about a week and a half now. ew.

i went over to my kitchen, and went to my pantry to look for something to eat. i ended up going to my fridge and getting out some leftover pizza to warm up. i always found microwaved pizza to taste a bit better than actual fresh pizza. i don't know, but when it was microwaved, i felt like it was cheesier.

i ate pizza while flipping through channels before deciding to watch kung fu panda since it was already more than halfway through. i'm a sucker for dreamworks movies and studio ghibli movies, i live for them. especially studio ghibli, hayao miyazaki is just amazing.