bloodline :: philkas

cincisprezece

lukas

today is friday. which means today i have to drag my lazy ass out of my house to take a certain pretty boy out to dinner. i really didn't mind the fact that i have to drag myself out of my house since it was for philip. i stopped thinking of him as a walking sack of blood after two nights ago when i was lying on my bed, mindlessly looking up at the ceiling "trying" to sleep. i just thought about different things, and what would happen to philip and i.

everytime i've done something like this with a human, it never ended well. someone always ended up dead, and it was never me. love became pointless to me. but then there would be that one person who comes along and make me swoon.

i'm not going to do one night stands. i'd rather attempt to settle down and have it spiral downwards than have a one night stand. i just can't wrap my head around the idea of fucking someone who means nothing to me. i have proposed the idea to several women before, and it worked just find to get me something to eat, though. but i never really had sex with them. and it's not just because they're women, i did the same to guys too. i really couldn't see myself putting my dick inside of anyone except who would be my significant other.

my mind was stuck on that before it eventually circulated back to philip. that boy just seemed to constantly be in my head, and it annoyed me quite a bit. the hopeless romantic side of me began invading my thoughts as well, and i thought, what would happen if i really did start dating philip? what would happen?

then of course, i started fantasizing, or rather, imagined what it would be like to be philip's boyfriend.

i imagine him as being the cuddly type. i'd probably convince him to watch some cheesy horror movie (even though he hates horror. but he'd do it for me.), just so i can get him to hold on to me nice and tight. i'd promise to stay with him after the movie was over to make sure the girl from the ring wouldn't kill him in his sleep, and carry him to bed. i'd tuck him in, nice and warm, and kiss his pretty little face over and over, whispering nothing but sweet nothings to him to ease his paranoia. maybe i'd even sing a little something for him. but he'd slowly, but surely, fall asleep in my arms, and i would visit him in his little dream world.

we'd cook together, too. i'd probably mess up and philip would notice and point it out, but i'd insist that i followed what i should've done. i imagine that philip will sigh, and put whatever he's holding down, and walk over to me, and fix my mistake.

it'd honestly be what i could ask for. but, the inevitable would surely come within a month or two. however, if the angel really does become mine tonight, i'll do everything i can to keep philip from being in harm's way. i've watched too many people i love slip away from me.

with that thought in mind, i carried myself out of bed and trudged into the bathroom, flipping the light switch on. i bet i looked sleepy, because i patted my head and felt wild hairs everywhere.

i turned on the cold water, and splashed my face with it to wake myself up. after that i rinsed my mouth out, and started actually brushing my teeth. what time did i even get out of bed? my sleeping patterns have always been irregular, so it's either 11 am or 1 pm. or something in between.

once i was done with my not so morning routine, i went back to my bedroom to dress myself appropriately. i put on a white dress shirt (like the one ezra miller wore in "we need to talk about kevin," rolled up sleeves and all) with a nice pair of black skinny jeans. you could never go wrong with them.

after doing that, i fixed my hair to the best of my abilities. after all these years, i've learned how to make myself look nice, especially the hair part.