Imperfections- JLS Aston fanfic

Imperfections

*Imperfections*

Imperfections: a state of being faulty or incomplete, a fault, blemish or undesirable feature. I was all of these definitions, I never had been complete, and myself and my clients were always picking out faults and blemish’s…too many…I was undesirable.

I had the craziest dream last night, about a girl who turned into a model, but the agency threatened to dump her because she was too fat; suddenly the girl’s size 8 frame was too big for vogue and Elle magazine, to them she was obese, so she went into starvation, doing everything she could to get the desired smaller frame. Except this wasn’t a dream…it was real life…my life…

I was swallowed up into this industry when I was just sixteen years old, and from then on, my faults and blemishes became my own worst enemy. I was living the life of a girls worst nightmare, and I couldn’t see it….if it wasn’t for my bestfriend Aston…I’d probably say I’d be dead by now…he was the one constantly forcing me to eat, making sure I was getting vitamins and keeping my mind elsewhere than work. 7 years later and a 21 year old young lady I was still in that dark place…but it was getting worse…and nobody knew, not only did I have my own insecurities, faults and blemishes to think about, I had competition…people trying to replace me, and I wasn’t going to let that happen, I’d worked my but off for 7 years in this industry, I wasn’t about to let some newbe model take my place, even if it meant staying in that same dark place…

‘Eliza promised to feature me more this season’ I smiled at Aston as I sat in on one of his rehearsal sessions

‘I should think so…’ he smiled ‘You’re the most talented and dedicated model they have in the agency’

‘Thanks’

‘Listen…do you fancy going out for pizza or something after I’ve finished here?’ he asked

‘Oh no thanks…im not hungry’

‘Cassie….we’ve been over this, you’ve got to eat properly’ he sighed

‘I am Aston, but I have a shoot tomorrow, and pizza will make me bloated’ I lied, covering it up with laughs, if only he knew the truth, the truth I’d never admit to. I hadn’t eaten for four days now and my body was getting weaker and weaker…but I never showed it, I was too afraid to show it, not eating made my body look better for shoots, and with the client and my boss watching tomorrow, I wasn’t taking any risks of looking bigger because I’d eaten. Tomorrow I’d have a salad straight after the shoot and I’d be fine.

‘Promise me your eating properly…you cant go back into that dark place again’ he said holding onto my hand

‘I promise I am…look why don’t we go out for a meal or something tomorrow? After my shoot?’ I smiled

‘Yeah that sounds good’ he smiled ‘Nandos?’

‘It wouldn’t be anything else with you’ I giggled. I desperately wanted to let him know what was going on, I needed help, but I just couldn’t face the fact of other people knowing yet, I needed to try and get through this myself…I couldn’t tell Aston I was back in that same place…it would break his heart…he really looks out for me…but I didn’t need him worrying…not yet anyway…