Permanent Memories

Luke

I had a band meeting with the boys today and some producers this morning for our third album to come out. I told Olivia that I will be back as soon as possible. The boys decided to order pizza and Indian food for lunch because the meeting was taking a while.

In my pocket I hear my phone ring and I politely excuse myself and answer my phone.

"Hello Luke speaking," I say.

What the person said on the other end of the phone was heartbreaking.

"No! She can't be!" I scream. I rush inside, grab my car keys. "No, Olivia was fine when I left what happened!" I run outside and into my car. I drive to the hospital, anger and fear overwhelming me.

I get to the hospital and park the car hurriedly and run inside, I get in the lift, sadness now filling my body.

"Come on, come on, come on," I say as the elevator slowly makes its way up the shaft to the floor I want.

When the doors open I bolt out and head straight for Olivia's room. Doctors were surrounding her. Arguing among themselves. I look at the monitors next to her bed. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see her heart is still beating.

The doctors explain to me what is happening. I don't hear a single word they say. I'm too angry. My whole body is shaking. I squeeze her engagement ring around my neck. I hear screaming but nobody else is talking. Then I recognise the voice. It's mine. I'm the one screaming. I'm screaming for Olivia to wake up.

The doctors and nurses look at me.

"We have to take her into the emergency room." Is all I hear someone say. I nod and step aside, letting them wheel her out, all yelling to make way.

I sit in her empty room crying. Not doing anything but crying. I look around at how she made the room her own. As I sit in front of a pin-up board, I look at all the photos on there. First date, the ball, New York. Photos of us during the week and a half she has been here. It was all there. All the memories were there. Permanently there, captured perfectly in one single shot. She looked so happy. As I sit there staring at the photos, I begin to cry again. How I'll never get to hear her voice. I'll never get to hold her hand. I'll never get to hear her say 'I do'.

As I cry alone in the room, I hear footsteps. When I look up, the boys are standing at the door in silence.

"Is she?" Miles whispers, breaking the silence. I shake my head and wipe my eyes.

"Not yet." I whimper.

"Don't say that. Don't be so negative, Luke. She's not going to die. She can't die." Asher says slowly stepping into the room.

"I didn't even get to tell her I loved her this morning. I didn't get to hear it back. The last thing I said to her was 'see you tomorrow afternoon baby', right before she fell asleep. And now she's leaving me. You didn't see her on that bed guys. She was more broken than ever. You didn't see her lying there still as a rock. She looked dead. She was pale." I can't even bring myself to continue talking.

We all sit in silence around the room when a surgeon walks in.

"Would you like to see her?" He asks and I nod. He leads me back to the intensive care unit and he allows me in.

He asks if I wanted him to stay. I shook my head and he nodded and closed the door behind him.

I slowly make my way over to Olivia and sit next to her. Her eyes are closed and the monitor makes a slow and steady beep, to go along with her heart.

I pull a piece of paper out of my jacket and unfold it reading the words I had scribbled last night.

"I uh, wrote this letter for you. I was going to read it to you tomorrow at the wedding. But now seems as good as time as ever." I clear my throat.

"My dear Olivia, I don't think you really know how much you mean to me. How ever since I met you I knew it was going to be you all along, I knew it was you who I was going to marry. I stayed awake planning how I was going to get you to go on a date with me, how I was going to get you to marry me.

"I planned our whole lives out. You were going to be an author and an English teacher and I was going to be a rock star.

"Every day I came up with new reasons to love you, you gave me new reasons to love you. The minute you stepped foot in that classroom I knew I needed more. I know I've been a jerk some times and I know we have had our differences. But you can't deny that what we have is real, what we have is special and rare. Nobody else has what we have. Nobody will have what we do.

"After the accident my whole world flipped around. I didn't know what to do. I got to the hospital as soon as I could. I remember the way you looked broke my heart into a million pieces, Olivia, I shattered like glass. There was nothing more in the world I wanted than to be in your place so you didn't have to be in the pain you were in.

"I can't bare to lose you. You are the love of my life, you are my queen, you are my life. I dream of having kids with you one day. I dream of having a little family. I will do whatever it takes to keep you by my side. I will do whatever it takes to stay by your side.

"I love you Olivia, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will always be right here by your side. I will always back you up, I will always be there for you no matter what happens.

"I love you, thank you for loving me, thank you for being mine, thank you for marrying me."

By the end of the letter I was crying, my voice was shaking and my hands were sweating. I held her hand in mine and promised myself I wouldn't let go.

I sit there for what feels like hours. What came next I could never wish upon anybody. The boys waited outside the room in silence. I watched the monitor, her heart rate was slowing, I didn't think much of it. Until she flat-lined.

"Olivia?! Olivia wake up! Olivia please! Please wake up! Olivia!" I screamed. Nothing happened. I opened the door and screamed for help. Doctors and nurses came running. They tried everything, but it was already too late.

They said that their deepest condolences was with me. I went back in the room and got on the bed. I laid there crying . Begging for her to wake up. Wishing it was me instead of her. This isn't fair!

"Olivia please I need you to wake up! Please! I love you!" I cry.

In anger I stand up and walk around the room. I throw my phone at the wall and watch it shatter. I kick chairs and the table. I punch the wall. My girlfriend is dead and it's all my fault!

Screaming I pick up the chair and slam it back down on the ground. I get on the bed kneeling over Olivia. I carefully lift her up and hold her limp body in my arms one more time.

"I'll see you soon my love." I whisper in her ear. I stroke her hair and kiss her head, gently laying her back down on the bed. Her skin was cold. I go over to the window and stare out of it down onto the street below.

I open it a crack to let some fresh air in so I can breathe and think before I do something stupid.

She's gone. She's really gone. I sit on the windowsill and stare out over the city.

"Luke what are you doing!" Carter yells running over to the window and grabbing me around my waist, pulling me in and onto the floor. To be honest, I would be lying if I said I didn't want to jump.

***A.N***

ngl i cried writing from this chapter on. bawled my little eyes out

~A