Rekindled Love

Mon Amour, Ruby

"A divorce, Ruby!?" I shout while storming into the bedroom. I eye Ruby's luggage and shook my head. "You can't be serious, you can't divorce me!"

I watch as she mindlessly continues to pack what little she brought to this stupid trip and place it in her suitcases. Why does she desperately want to divorce me, why not continue to work this out together? I'm sure we'd surpass this affair together — I'll stop screwing Athena for her, I'll do anything for Ruby.

"Ruby!" I shout, worry striking my tone of voice. I've never been worried about something that isn't my businesses — my real businesses not my affairs. "Stop packing, for fucks sake! You can't do this!"

Ruby shook her head in disbelief, releasing a soft chortle. "Why, because you say so? Please, Nicolas." She frowns, "Who are you trying to fool? Certainly, it ain't working on me."

"Mon amour -"

"Don't!" Ruby hisses. "Don't call me that, you don't get the privilege to call me that anymore! Not since you've been fucking your mother-in-law! How sick and .. and disturbed do you have to be to fuck around with your wife's mother?!"

I could never forgive myself for what I did to my precious Ruby, she was stunningly gorgeous, brilliant and very dutiful. I don't understand why I fell under Athena's grasp but I did and I'll regret it for as long as I live.

The divorce had just been completed a few weeks ago and I feel like shit. I'm sure Athena does too, she hasn't stopped mentioning how she misses her baby girl but like she says, we fucked up.

I wanted to throw myself off a bridge after Ruby waltzed out of our lawyers' office after the divorce but I couldn't bring myself to it, I still had hope that she'd come back to me. She hasn't yet but instead of throwing myself off a bridge, I began dealing drugs with some guy I met that one night at a bar.

I was so wasted, I needed to get the horrible pain of my betrayal to Ruby somehow. I drove myself to a bar and some guy, Carl, sat beside me and asked why I was wasting myself in alcohol.

After telling my pathetic story, he offered me his help. "I can help you without you chugging alcohol into your system. It'll destroy your insides when she comes back," he said.

"What could you possibly offer me that's better than this crap?" I laughed menacingly.

"Drugs," He said confidently. "Not doing them if you don't want to but selling them without getting caught — it's a thrill you'd endure and if you decide to snort it, I'll give it to you on a cheap discount for selling."

I know I shouldn't have accepted but I needed to, I couldn't have my insides made into shit once Ruby ran back to me. "Deal," I smiled. "When do I start?"

Since that night, Carl has been like my best bud — one that's full of bad influences but one nonetheless.

I also haven't stop sleeping around with Athena since she is now the only thing that connects me to Ruby, I felt needy of her and I think she feels the same. It isn't as much fun anymore but it's a distraction — I sometimes pretend it's Ruby I'm thrusting myself into. "Nicolas, mom amour," Athena stops nibbling on my bottom lip and sits up, using the blanket as a shield for her bare body. "What's the matter, for days you've been distant with me."

"You know why, Athena." I groan, sitting up beside her. "I can't forget Ruby, I miss her so damn much. It hurts that I don't see her or her stuff back at the house when I go home. I don't smell her presence anymore and I don't see her cooking in the kitchen. I don't see the crap she likes to put on her face. I don't even see her hair supplies in the bathroom. I miss all of that!"