You've made it this far. (TreeBros)

Chapter 10: He's back.

Evan stared shocked, eyes wide at Connor's arrival. He looked like he had just gotten back, from where ever he was during this whole week. but that would be crazy. He wouldn't come directly to the farm and not the bases first, with worried solders and Micheal waiting.

He just simply let his eyes fall upon Connor's. And with how cold and bitter the weather was, giving Evan an excuse to his flushed cheeks.

He watches Connor stand still, posed there like a lifeless statue and staring, Evan just watched the small snowflakes melt agent the blackness of Connor's messy hair.

"W-where have you been?" Evan murmured softly, unable to find his voice.

Connor doesn't answer.

He just looked back down at the ground, as if he had gotten what he came for.
He turned around in his tracks, and walked away from the door.

Evan watched bewildered at the back of Connor's head once again.
What had just happened was beyond him. But so many feelings rushed through his senses. It was either relief that the man was back and safe, or dread. He was afraid that this time Connor would disappear again, and not come back.

He watched almost helplessly as Connor walked along the path, almost reaching the gate.

And then his feet started moving on their own.

Evan was barley wearing much, not even shoes, but his body didn't seem to notice as he traughted through the wet snow.

He wasn't going fast enough.

So he ran, catching up to Connor's form and slung his arms around the man's body from behind. Pinning him in a tight squeeze.

He didn't know why he had the urge to hug him. He regretted it the moment he did.

As the snow fell, and silence fell over both boys. Connor stood stiff, until Evan reluctantly let go.

And with out another word, Not even looking back at Evan, he opened the gate, and walked away.

Leaving Evan standing in the cold, covered by snow, hit in a mix of utter confusion and desperation..
---

Evan always thought hating himself would make him more at peace, because if he didn't care about himself, about his pain, or how he felt, maybe his feelings could become invalid.

He finds every bad thing that happens to him to be something he deserves.
When you hate someone- you don't hope that they get a pony, no.
You wish for them to feel pain, you wish the worse on them.
Him hoping things would get better would mean he felt he didn't need to feel this way.

But the thing is, he doesn't. He doesn't feel the want to get better because, he believes he gets what he deserves.
And when he hates himself.
He feels more. Relaxed. Or dead, He stopped caring about his happiness
He gets sadness and pain and bitterness and hate,
Because that's what he thinks he should get.

So he lays in his bed, feeling the cold winter seep in through the wood of the farm house. He lets out a breath and stares at the ceiling. Thinks about dying someday. But every so often Jet pops into his brain, and it makes the dull ache in his chest become a sharp pain of regret.

He's gone numb, to his existence. He's grown to resent himself. And the consent dread and mystery he feels when he reflects, when he lives. It's there because he deserve no better, because he is no better.
---

"Connor!!!" Alana practically screams when the man comes to the barn a week later, visiting. Evan watches from a far, packing the rest of the vegetables, so he can bring them to the market. Another day of distributing food to the town, extra because it's getting cold. The snow makes it impossible to grow more vegetables, so they have limited stock to give around but Luckily there is goose meat to give around. From the hunting trip Evan chooses not to think about.

The brunette hugs the overjoyed women, smiling softly to himself.
"I'm so sorry I've been gone Alana, I've had so much work to do on base." He lies, but no one else knows this.

"Oh it's okay, I forgive." She nodded and patted his head forgiving him almost instantly. Evan's never really seen her act so motherly to anyone besides himself, he finds it slightly amusing until he realized who it is she is worried for.

As she tells him everything that happened the past week, Evan stares at them. It's only then when Connor turns his head and his eyes meet Evan's.

They both look away.

"So. I was wondering if you'd like to help distribute the food?"
Connor smiled softly, agreeing to the woman's question. He looked slightly off though, almost deep in thought, as Alana continued explaining.
---

Veronica holds Evan's hand tightly as Connor walks back and forth carrying different crates of food. She knows how much it's effecting the boy, that Connor is back, and so blantenly ignoring him. But all she can do is comfort him.

She is rather peeved off my the older mans actions, but then again, she doesn't know everything between the two.

She looks down at Evan and realized he is quite distracted, playing with the hem of the frilly pink shirt she let him borrow. He honestly looked nice in it, but his sad mood didn't fit well with the outfit.
"Hey" she spoke up, the boy turned his head up to her, listening to what she had to say.
"Maybe after we do this, I could make you a cup of coffee"

Evan's face scrunched up with distaste. "That's nice Veronica but trust me I've had enough coffee"

She hummed and continued on. "Okay. Well maybe we can do something."
He looked at her puzzled, "and do what?" He laughed amusingly. "Has it not hit you that we are locked up in here?"

"Well you've gotten out before right?"

Evan paused as if it was a sudden realization. "Oh my god. I have! Oh god, I know how to get out! Sorta.. But maybe, maybe"

"Your thinking you can sneak the WHOLE town out of here without the guards noticing? Riiiight.. But maybe we just go out to have, I don't know a picnic?"

"Veronica, it's fucking snowing, not to mention I don't know, really the way to get the locks undone."

Her lips pressed into a thin white line, but even with the annoyance she showed, she also realized how stupid the thought was anyway.

"Well-"

"Evan, Veronica, the food is set up, get ready to start handing out" Alana called as she stood behind the crates.

They both looked up and nodded, walking towards the line.
As she got to post, she swore she saw Connor staring at Evan, before going off to one of his friends from the base.