You've made it this far. (TreeBros)

Chapter 9: Failing at living (part 3)

Connor was an idiot.

He didn't know how long it's been but he has been lost. And let's make it a point that he has been lost. For a long. Time.

Somehow, the night he got drunk, he passed out, outside of the wall, and some asshole dragged him all the way back to that stupid abandoned house- that him, Jared and Evan had stayed in previously. But rest assured, that he had gotten back before, so he was sure he could get back again.

And well, He was wrong.

The first day after waking to find himself in the middle of no were he set off to find his way back. But there was a slight problem. He had a hang over, a bad one. One that gave him head splitting headaches, he could barely walk. So he didn't even try to go far. Soon passing out next to a tree, in the snow like an idiot.

The second day, he was making progress, walking for hours, to only make it back to that damn house again. Which. To put lightly, made him rather. Upset.

The third day, his back was hurting from having to sleep on the ground, because he refused to go and sleep inside the house. He had a pretty bad cold, but he just kept thinking positively, he would make it back and it wouldn't matter. He was a stubborn man. And a idiot.

He didn't bother trying to get back, he just really needed food. But the most he found, sadly were wild mushrooms and berries, which he would not take the risk of eating. Because he may have been an idiot, but not a moron.

The forth day he upgraded to moron. He stuffed his face with the mushrooms and berries, and kept walking. After what felt like years he found a stream, icy cold, and questionable on whether it was clean or not, but he thanked Erin's fake gods for some hydration.

That was something he avoided thinking about though. Erin. So, he focused on trying to get back, rather then what made him go out here in the first place, he wasn't willing to face his feelings with out some alcohol.
---

He sat on the damp snow, mushed around from the odd mixture of dirt and other natural substances. And he simply sat there, staring at a tree, the bark chipping off the hazel brown trunk. He wasn't drunk.

But he might as well have been, because he was going insane.

He was even concerned for himself, after he had realized he was talking to the tree. As if it could respond, or listen.

That however, didn't change the fact it was helping him.

Maybe it was being able to speak his feelings.

Or maybe it was him being able to admit it, to himself. Using the tree as a passage to the words from his mouth, to out into the open air. Because once he said it. He would have to except that was how he truly felt. Or maybe it was something else relaxing about taking to a stump.

But what ever it happened to be, his cold chapped lips opened and closed as he let out a exhausted breath.

"You, fool yourself with these ideals that you can be the perfect you. It's stupid, really, if anything you don't want to go back to that place, if you really did you'd be back now. Not lost on he woods like a idiot" The words relentlessly spilt from his lips.

He paused, and moved his eyes to the ground. Shame, and realization came to him.

"I'd already be back. If I actually tried."
---

That was the most truth he had offered himself these pass days, cause finally He stared at the gate. Something he thought he was trying to find for these past few days. Subconsciously, he knew how to come back, he just didn't want to. He didn't want to face his thoughts. But, now he was face to face with the cold steal of the metal frame holding the door together. He knew how to get in.

To think he was more willing to freeze or starve to death rather then facing his feelings.

So when he slowly walked to the gate, and unlocked the padlocks to get in, it was like he had finally accepted how he felt. Opened those feelings up.

So, without a second thought, he walked directly back, to Erin's little farm.