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Chapter 14- Realization

Throwing the keys upon the table, Hudson took a seat on the bar stool in the kitchen while Quinn fetched a bag of frozen vegetables for his hand.

"As much as I enjoyed him being put in his place, you can't do that just because you're angry..."

"I wish I could control myself around that guy, but I can't help but feel this rage inside."

"What for?"

"If I tell you, it will seem selfish."

"Now I have to know..." She said as she moved to the opposite side of the counter. Her full weight was on her elbows as she interlaced her fingers and then placed her chin on her knuckles.

"It kills me to know that you cared about him to the point of attraction."

"You're jealous? Do you not understand my level of loathing I have for him?"

"It's not about your feelings for him...I can tell without a doubt, you hate him...but...you didn't always. This is going to sound incredibly insecure but knowing he's touched you and kissed you makes me more angry than anything in my life. I have decked the guy twice and still he doesn't get it."

"So you admit it from the first time."

"You already knew."

She nodded.

"As much as I appreciate you trying to defend my honor...it will only make things worse if you intervene. I won't ask you to do anything but to just let me handle it-"

"And when he raises his hand to you again?"

"He won't-"

"I bet you thought that before."

She glared. "I won't him. I won't allow myself to be in that position so he can do that to me. He already did it once-I won't it happen again."

"I wish I could believe that, but he's dangerous and toxic-the typical bad boy...you NEED to stay away, I'm begging you."

"I made a deal with him. To pretend I was in love and he would keep my secret. Your secret-"

"Our secret."

"Maybe it's not worth it." Tears began to fill her eyes as she spoke the painful words. Instantly, he was then on his feet as he looked to her with a concerned and hurt expression. "We've only been doing this for about two months...I mean...is it worth all this to you?"

"I'm sensing it isn't to you..."

"I just don't want to responsible for ruining a family-"

"You didn't ruin anything, Rochelle and I aren't happy-"

"But she's trying to fix it and I'm just complicating things. I am a distraction to you. Can you deny it?"

He stayed silent.

"Maybe it's best if we just cut our losses with this...you know...just call it." Speaking it, a tear slid down her cheek.

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't want anybody hurt-especially the kids. And I feel all we've done is hurt people since this started..."

Begging in her mind for him to say his thoughts-even if it would be a morality quote from some ancient author, she would take anything. But he remained quiet. Taking this as her answer, she ran to the pool house in tears and threw her up-do in shambles. The hairpin that was borrowed from a friend at school now sat on her bed as she sat beside it, covering her face and crying. For several minutes, she thought how she could go on without the flirtatious comments of Hudson and the small smirks exchanged back and forth throughout the day-and realized she couldn't. Pulling herself from the bed, she went to leave when she saw him getting ready to knock on her door.

"Can you sit down for a second, please?" He asked her as she shook her head.

"No. I don't want some grand gesture-it won't change anything." She wiped a recent tear on her cheek and composed herself before continuing. "I am giving in my resignation tomorrow."

His expression changed from anxious to stunned.

"I won't let you do that."

"It's not your choice. I can't be here with everything that's happened. I love your family and everything you've done for me...but I can't do this...I'm not strong enough."

"Either am I."

"So it's settled-"

"No. I'm not strong enough to let you leave. I will chase after you, even in public. Screw the courts and Rochelle if she tries to do anything about it. You have been here for six months and driven me crazy every day and night. I told myself to not fall into it because that would mean admitting my weakness. But right now, I don't care about anything but you. Seeing you cry and being threatened with your absence are two things I can't bear...."

"I can't do this, Hudson! This secret is eating me up, Olivia-putting her in the middle-"

"She is the one who did that by blackmailing you-"

"She-"

"Don't try to protect her, I saw the message on her phone when I went to charge it for her."

"Oh..."

"You don't always have to take the high road, Quinn. We aren't hurting anyone."

"You're still married...to everyone else, you are happily married and I came in and ruined the chance to fix everything. I can't have that-I can't live with that."

"Then know it's not true!"

"But it is! You were going to counseling with her before I showed up, now suddenly...doesn't matter!"

"I can't help what I feel!"

"Maybe you should!"

"I don't want to!"

"Then think of the kids!"

"I'm NOT GOING TO FEEL GUILTY FOR WHO I LOVE!"

They both froze, stuck in those four letters and the aftermath of them being spoken aloud.