18

Chapter 20- Issues Underneath

"What else did you talk about?" Quinn asked as she rubbed her tired eyes after getting little sleep from all the questions running in her mind.

"I told her that I fell for you the minute you walked through the door-that I fought it, but eventually just couldn't. The truth is...Each time I came around you, I felt helpless and weak. I have never felt that with anyone in my life. Not ever. You make me want to throw everything at your feet and literally praise you. It might sound crazy and maybe too much...I just had to say it."

She set her hand against his cheek softly as he gently closed his eyes as a smirk fell over his lips.

"It's not too much...but I have to be honest..."

"Please do..."

"I know you won't agree...but I feel responsible for tearing everyone apart. I knew you and her wouldn't get back together....but to have Olivia turned against her-"

"Olivia and her have never really gotten along. When she was younger, they did...she took her to the boutiques and hair dressers...but after that...she didn't do hardly anything. After these charities became such a big part. And the sad thing about it, she only does it for the publicity...she can't tell you a single person she's met along these "heartfelt gestures"."

"I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say. I feel so guilty-"

"You have no reason-"

"I'm a homewrecker."

"No. Her and I were separated before I even met you-" He continued before she could speak. "I want to tell you about something to make you understand why...About five-six years ago, I got this amazing job opportunity in Canada to do some benefit calculating and accumulation to help kids pay for school, like I am doing here. We had everything packed and were in the car when she suddenly remembered a meeting she couldn't miss. I followed her in my car as she went the opposite way to work then she should have and found she was sitting at the store, trying on shoes. She then told me how I cornered her and didn't give her a choice-but the kids were so elated to go...and because of her...we didn't. I know that marriage is about compromise-but it's also about unconditional love. And I don't have that for her-I don't have ANY love for her...I don't even know if I ever did-"

"Don't say that. You did at some point-you married her."

"She was pregnant. We ended up having a miscarriage, but I felt cornered in the decision. I was honest when I told her I thought we settled for one another. We were just too comfortable to actually search for happiness."

"But if you lose everything-'

"I won't. We have a prenuptial agreement stating she gets payments for the kids unless they decide to live with me then she gets nothing."

"But what if she uses our affair to try to get more?"

"Very possible-but we were separated...between marriage and divorce-it does complicate things for her."

"I am just so worried about the kids...the effect this will have on them..."

He shook his head towards her as she had a smirk on his face.

"What?" She asked with a small smile of her own.

"You are just...unbelievable. You were slapped, called the worst names in the world, thrown out, fired, and all you think about is everyone else-and the kids."

"I can land on my feet...but those kids...you are all they have...I can't help but feel like I'm responsible-"

"You aren't. You are...Olivia hates everyone, Quinn. She sabotaged the last six nannies in year before you. Roderick helped her-usually luring the poor women to their area of attack. But...she genuinely seems to like you. And for her to stand up for you means a lot."

"I just don't want anything bad to happen to those kids because of me."

He placed a soft kiss upon her lips.

"I promise, nothing will. But for right now...we should celebrate to not having to hide our relationship any longer. To be able to hold hands in public and be officially together." She smiled wide.

"I do really enjoy the sound of that."