broken glass

defeated

Thomas couldn't move. His mind was screaming at him. Get up! Get up you idiot. He's looking at your arms. Put on a shirt! you're such an idiot how could you do this! Get the fuck up! But Thomas felt numb. He couldn't do anything he couldn't feel anything. The only thing he was aware of was his heart beating rapidly in his chest and Newt's eyes burning into his skin. Thomas noticed the way Newt's eyes started to water. He couldn't handle this. Thomas closed his eyes, hoping he could just get away from this.

"Tommy...yo- you're arms..." Newt stumbled over his words. Carefully touching Thomas' arm with one finger. Thomas flinched away from the touch jumping of the bed and backing away until his back hit the wall. He slowly slid down against it. Feeling too weak to stand up. He could see Newt get up from the bed in the corner of his eye.

Newt dropped to his knees in front of the brunette, tears slowly sliding down his cheeks. Newt moved his hand towards Thomas but jerked it back when he noticed Jeff tense up. They just sat in silence for a while. Thomas could see Newt lowering his gaze to his arms again and he hastily folded them across his chest and brought his knees up to his face. Hiding the dozens of scars. Newt took a deep breath, calming himself down.

"Why ?" Newt whispered eventually. Thomas' head shot up and he flinched, realizing what he had done. Thomas shot up walking across the room, taking his shirt and putting it on. Hiding his arms.

He knew this was a bad idea but he had to help him. "Thomas...why ?"

"Doesn't matter!" Thomas snarled.

"It does matter, Tommy! it matters a lot! why are you doing this to yourself ?"

Thomas remained silent, anger building up in his body.

"Stop shutting me out, Thomas! I'm sick of it! You keep doing this! I don't know what you think this is what we have but it's been going on for a month now and I don't know a thing about you!"

"You don't need to know anything, Newt!"

"I'm just trying to help you Thomas! Talk to me! I'm your friend I'm more then your friend!"

"I don't need your help! I don't need you. I never asked you or wanted you to be my friend. I never wanted you to come so close to me!"

Newt's heart fell to his stomach at Thomas' words and he swallowed.

"You don't mean that, Tommy. You smile when you're with me! that's something you hadn't done since preschool !"

Newt winced when he was shoved against the wall harshly. Thomas' fingers digging into his skin.

"How do you know that ?" Thomas growled dangerously.

"It was just a guess" Newt whispered, his heart breaking at the fact that he was right.

"Stop trying to get in! I'm not letting you! Why can't you just shut up!"

"Because I care about you! I love you. And I know I'm stupid for loving you cause obviously you don't give a damn shit about me!"

"Don't say that! No one loves me! you're lying. Love only ends with hurt and heartbreak I'm not letting you in just so you can break me all over again!"

"I'm not going to hurt you, Tommy! Whatever happened to you, whatever they did to you. I'm not gonna do that to you!"

"Why can't you just give up on me! Why wont you understand that I don't want you!"