loving Her From A Distance

Note to self (Flashback)

I was late by a week and a half.

I swallowed hard as I stared at my calendar. I was never late, but I ended up just shrugging it off, thinking my period would come soon.

But it didn't and I was leaving for business in a week. That made me almost two weeks late. I was starting to panic and pregnancy crossed my mind more than once.

No, we used protection, I reasoned.

Condoms can break.

I felt my stomach twist at the thought and before I knew it, I had raced over to the toilet and threw up my breakfast.

I cried, still leaning over the toilet. This is not happening.

I had just accepted the fact that I had me and Erica was over, now I'm in a new relationship with Joe, and now the possibility of me getting pregnant? No, I was not pregnant with Joe's child.

I ignored the little flutter my heart gave and went over to the sink, my heart beating rapidly.

What if I am pregnant? God, how will I tell Joe? How will I tell my mother? am I even gonna keep it?

No, I'm getting ahead of myself.

I took in deep breaths and wiped angrily at the tears that continued to leak out. First things first, I need to go and get a test.
I grabbed the phone instead and dialed the one number I knew by heart besides my own...and my mom'.

After two rings, "Hey Cyn."

I sniffled, "Stella, can you come pick me up?"

"Yeah, what's wrong Cyn? Why are you crying?"

I looked out my window; thankfully I didn't make any plans with Joe today. I couldn't handle that, "I just…I'll tell you when you get here." I wiped at my eyes again.

"Okay, I'll be over in five minutes okay?" She hung up before I could respond and I could almost picture her, racing toward the door and her keys on the way.

I allowed a small smile to come over my face, thanking God I had a great friend I could count on. I just hoped that whatever happened, she'd be there for me.

I sunk onto my bed, sorting out my thoughts.

Okay, there is a huge chance that I'm just late and me throwing up was just from stress.

I bit my lip, yeah, that was it. Stress.

But what if I am pregnant? I'm starting my new collection this week; everything I've worked for is a week away. This can't be happening right now.

I continued to cry, feeling sorry for my stupid choices until I heard Stella's car pull up in my driveway. I took in another deep breath and unconsciously glanced at my stomach. I wiped at my face again, tearing my eyes away from my middle section, and ran out of my room and down the stairs.

"Cynth, what-?" Stella looked very concerned when I climbed into her truck.

"Drive, please. And go to the drug store."

She put the car into reverse, casting occasional glances at me, and started heading toward Longs Drugs.

There was only about a minute or two of silence before I broke into another tear marathon. "Okay Cyn, you tell me what's going on right now."

I rubbed my eyes and wiped them again with my sleeve, then looked up at my best friend, "I-I…God Stella, I thin-nk I might be p-pregnant."

Her car swerved and she looked at me with wide eyes. "Excuse me?" She said in a quiet voice.