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Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen:
Congratulations, it's a ...

Twenty-Two weeks pregnant
School has been back for awhile and while all the normal kids are going to public schools, I am alone at home six hours of the day with the occasional appearance of Josh visiting in between his classes.

I never realized just how lonely homeschooling could be.
Why am I doing it? My mother seems to think it's best. Why am I listening to my mother after she chose my deadbeat father over me? Because when I ran into her on the street last week, I could do no other than converse; she is my mother, after all, she's the reason I'm living and breathing, walking the Earth and all. This conversation where she apologized and spoke to me discussing Kermit's non-shocking return to California where his other family resides. Meaning I've moved back in with my now-on-good-terms mother and have some serious complaints about not being at a physical school and going out of my mind.

"Mother, please!" I begged trailing behind her as she dashed around
the kitchen collecting supplies for supper. "I'm miserable, I'm home alone nearly all day– all the time, I've got no one to talk to except Josh when he's not at school and I love him, mom, I do, but he is the only thing throughout the day keeping my mind from freaking exploding! You don't even get home until around, what, ten o'clock? And that's if we're lucky. I'm not even sure that it's good for me to be alone for so long, what if something happened to me or to the baby and I can't get to the phone? No one could come by for hours!"
I was panting now.
"Speaking of– "I took a seat, coming back up for air after talking at too fast a pace, and running about the kitchen with a big, five-month baby belly.
Okay, maybe it didn't look big to everyone else but to me, it's enough to make getting comfortable difficult and I definitely do not have an ideal body and that is well-enough for me.

"Mom, please. Just let me try it. Just for a little while and if I can't do it, if it gets to be too much for me, if you still believe I shouldn't, well then I'll go back to doing it your way, I'll home school from then on. I just need to know, okay. I need to be able to tell myself that I at the very least, tried. I'm already 'the pregnant girl' mama, and I don't want to be the 'the pregnant girl that dropped out of high school'."

"I agree." she sighed as she leaned back against the counter, with a look of despair drawn across her face.

"Giving up on school because I was pregnant may be the one path in life I shoulda' never walked. Everyone told me that I couldn't do it and I believed them. I couldn't give you what you deserve because of that and I want to make sure that you don't do the same. Learn from my mistakes baby girl; if you truly believe that going back to public school is what's going to be best for you, then I'm gonna be right here, believing in you. We can go to the school tomorrow and speak with the counselor."

"Thank you so much, mom." I sighed, pulling myself into her embrace, resting my head on her shoulder. "For everything."

"You're welcome baby girl, and— did you say you love Josh?" She pushed back, gripping my shoulders to stare into my now, rosy cheeks as I quietly giggle to myself.

"Okay, everybody, it's time!" All of the chattering quieted to a small casual whisper as everyone in the room gathered around the kitchen table— around me. In any other large crowds, this would have made me extraordinarily uncomfortable, but seeing as these were all people I consider family, I was blithe with the circumstances.

"Maya, you are absolutely killing my anxiety, come on! I need to know if there's gonna be a mini-Riley running around this place or not!"

"All right, I'm going." I hushed, "Jesus. The last time I checked this was still my baby, give me a second to prepare."