Fix Me(Edward Cullen Love Story)DISCONTINUED

Out To Forks

It's funny how much my life had changed 7 weeks ago. How easy your life can fall apart. And for those 7weeks, I was stuck in a stuffy hospital waiting. The nurses had given up talking to me after the 1st week and I don't blame them. I would have done the same if I were in their shoes.

I had gotten released from the hospital a couple of days ago and my  stomach had healed up pretty well. But the doctor said that do to the force the skate had hit me at, I'm infertile. I can't have children anymore. It's funny how when you think of your life when your little you think everything's so easy, but when you grow up you' re thrown into this cold harsh world where you don't know anything, or anything you think you had known before is absolutely useless. Like I used to complain about periods an having children. But know I know that I can never have those things again. I can't sit on my bed and argue with my husband about who gets to change the baby's diaper next, or help it through 'life crisises'. It's just, not an option anymore.

Mom, Phil's and Bella's funeral were a week and a couple days after the accident and I know nobody blames me for what had happened, but I do. I was the one driving. I should have been able to stop the car fast enough. But I didn't. And now I pay the price. I am alone now. People say 'I'm sorry,' or 'I know how you feel." But they are just complaining about the little things. Not a lot of people can say 'I know how you feel.' And really understand what it feels like. And 'I'm sorry.' That doesn't change the fact that their dead. It just, doesn't. Their jut empty words people use.

The doctor said that now if I want I'm able to do regular things. Stuff I would have done before the crash. But I haven't touched and ice skate or danced or sang or anything I loved to do. I do what I need to survive, nothing more. It just felt so wrong that I'm the driver, I caused the accident, and yet I still walk around and do things that they can't. I know I had killed them. And nothing would ever fix that knowledge. My scars had done enough of that. Those ugly white lines that track over my body are a constant reminder of what happened.

I hadn't drove since. Much less get into a car by my own free will. And I haven't cut my midnight black hair in a while and now it was as long as Bella's was, down to my hips. I always kept it in a French braid with her favourite blue Hawaii  flower pin latched in it. It was a constant. Even though she was 3 years older than me we were really close. We were always together even if it was just sitting around and doing nothing. I used to think that this was silly and would never happen but, she had always said as soon as she turned 20 which is 3 months from now she would take me to New York, where she always wanted to live. Her dreams and passions were always too strong to keep her from not going. I always loved the thought of going because she was my sister, and she was willing to do put up with me, when most sisters fought and screamed, or hated each other, no one could ever be closer than the 2 of us.

I smiled sadly at the old memory. But as it was , I knew it was nothing but a memory, that would never happen. Not anymore. Her heart couldn't carry her to 20 years of age. Because of my driving. A hot tear made a trail down my cheek, as more soon followed. It just hurt so bad.

A loud horn going off made its way inside the house, up the stairs and into my room. I knew it was the taxi to take me to the airport. Charlie had wanted me to come live with him in Forks, he had even offered to keep the house here incase when I turned 18 and wanted to leave I could come back here.  He knew how much this house meant to me. He had known about the accident but not to the extent the damage caused. He didn't know people had died. He thought both me and Bella were goingo to his house so mom could go with Phil for his baseball, and I hadn't the heart to tell him. He didn't really give me a choice with living with him. It was go live with Charlie for a bit or social services  take me and I lose absolutely everything I have left.

Sighing loudly I walked out of my room and across the hall way into my moms room and grabbed her hand knit pink blanket. I remember she made this for me when I was five but then I always slept with her every night till I was 8 and then she met Phil and married him. It was an elegant wedding and my mother looked beautiful. Then I moved in with Bella till I was 13 then I got my own room. Or I chose to have it. I grinned while picking the soft fabric up. I then walked over to the chest on top of their dresser. I grabbed my moms engagement rings and marriage rings and Phil's rings and slipped hem into my jeans pocket. I was about to exit the room before I saw a picture of all four of us. In the picture we were all laughing and smiling and we were at one of my previous skating tournaments. I remember it clearly, it was quite recent and I had won 1st place and it was my best dance yet. Mom was so proud of me and we had went to Seattle for it. She always said that as long as I had a passion for it I would always do good. I smiled and grabbed the picture before running into Bella's room.

When I got there I walked over to her dresser, and grabbed her favourite necklace. I had an identical one but Bella loved this one an never took it off. Then I ran down stairs. The car beeped again. And i cursed under my breath. I quickly slipped my black combat boots on, and my large figure skating sweater that hung loosely on my thin frame. I hadn't been eating lately so as you could guess I wasn't very heavy.

I grabbed my phone off the table and grabbed Phil's black leather jacket before heading out the door with my luggage and my skating bag in my hands. I rushed out to the bright yellow taxi. Quickly climbing into the glowing car I told the man behind the wheel where to go.
"To the airport." He just nodded solemnly and left me in my silence. So i sat leaning against the door, looking out at the trees and waited.

We arrived at the airport in no time and I was lucky enough to have snagged the last window seat with no other seats and then I was off to forks Washington.