~Just about my life in a way and might be something that might make you think about you and your life. Makes you wonder about the possibilities and maybe you might learn new things.~
This song makes me cry every time I listen to it. It's what I wanted with him, but now he is gone forever. I wish forever and always❤️ actually was true... 11/30/16 Once again I let another guy come into my life, that's what I always do. I can't help it though, this guy was perfect. I won't give out his name, because that's invade of privacy. I can tell you how he was like, he was perfect. He loved hunting, he loved shooting his bow, he loved videogames, and he always knew how to make me laugh. Of coarse I messed it up like I always do. I took it too far just because he told me he would text me or call me all week I was up north and he never texted me or anything I got pissed. Like that's not his fault he had a tournament, I just got mad because I was going through some issues and I needed him. I always fail... I always find a way to mess things up with any guy. Like he was the one that helped me through my darkest times. Of coarse I always say this guy is the one but it ends up failing so I know not to ever use those words again until I know for sure. I make notes... 11/7/16 Again Love starting again... I didn't want to start again... I didn't want to get hurt. Love filling me with happiness... Love eating my insides... Love killing me... I am gonna get hurt why do I do this to myself? I am gonna get stabbed again... Scars gonna start to form like my past ones... I am gonna fall again... But I might not have the strength to get back up... I might stop breathing if I get stomped on again... True love is a fairy tale for me... Never again will I say true love is real. *******(name not given), I love you, but I am scared that the devil is gonna come and ruin everything... *******, you are perfect, but I am the type of girl that tends to get hurt with relationships... *******, your name is unique Destiny, A girl that gets hurt and fails with relationships
I wrote that and yesterday is when I lost him and ruined everything. It's like I knew what was gonna happen. I wrote this one when he had to leave for a while...
11/18/16 3rd hour I walked to my 3rd hour, Biology. He wasn't there, wasn't standing by the door waiting for me. I walked in the classroom and sat down in my seat. I stared at his empty seat. A tear rolled down my eye, he is gone. I stared at the seat, wishing that he would appear. Lunch After 3rd hour, I walked down the stairs to the lunch room. I went in the choir room and sat in the same spot and looked at the huge mirror that was behind the piano. The door to the choir room was opened because the wood was wedged under it. The mirror showed the reflection of the whole classroom. I sat there watching the reflection of the door. Watching all the people walking in laughing and talking. Wishing he would walk through those doors. His smile and how he walks towards me. How he held my hand and how he kissed me. Maybe I don't know what I went through this week because I was alone and I had no one.
I lost him, I wish things didn't get ruined. It's life though things happen and you can't control them. I will always love him...
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I gave him this before he ended it, and he gave it back to me. It hurts, but it's life and hopefully he will be ready in the future because here I will be sad and alone. I don't think I will ever go in another relationship. I know that I will fail once again. Bye *******, I will always love you. I will always remember you and if you want to try again I will always be here babe.❤️
