A SWIM ACROSS TIME...

LOVE AND OTHER MADNESS.

        She is poetry ,
         Written by the gods .
      She is felt ,
        More than she could ever be understood.
                     -Ibreathemagic

"Aunty,what happened to I am going to come back Sunday evening?" Ifunanya's voice boomed from the other side .She was eating something,probably roasted  groundnut ,that is her favorite thing in the world.

"Stop chewing for a while, would you?" I teased with a small smile on my face,I barely smile anymore . I didn't know how to face my mom anymore,the first time I did after reading the letter,I broke down completely . We both did,but she ended up comforting me for . How come she went through it all in silence ? All the hurt and the pain, even though she is innocent.

My father must have gone through a lot,but the way he treated us only made me more angry at him. We are his children for God's sake,his very flesh and blood. We didn't have to pay for their mistakes. We have paid enough .

So much had happened over the years and knowing the whole story behind it,made me see my life in a whole new light . They made mistakes,but they buried them with more mistakes, they didn't even try to make things right after all this years. Does Baba's heart hurt when he looked at her or maybe even us?

There is a difference between understanding that everyone is going through some kind of pain ,but to know the story behind the people you looked most up to,the people you love more than anything else in the world ,feels like something out of a movie.

Adda Maryam ran away to my Aunt's,it seems that's what my family does best. It seemed they talented in creating excuses for running away from anything that's happening in their lives. Its kinda sad. And the worst part is she isn't even picking Mahmud's calls . He called me to beg her to pick his calls or at least reply his messages but she was adamant.

"What if he is calling to call it off,or something?" I could feel the fear in her words,but I couldn't help but roll my eyes. He sounded like a desperate puppy when he called and I told her so. It didn't really help when I tried to point out that if he wanted to ,he would have broken it off and there is no force in this universe that could stop him.

Sometimes,I feel like knowing everything just made me feel worst . I almost deliberately missed my prayers some days ago,which is something I haven't done for years since I started praying constantly . later,I felt ashamed and sorry . it wasn't worth it,none of them are.

Adda Maryam asked me if Mama was okay,I could sense the regret in her voice. Somehow I knew it will lead to that, I am still thinking of ways to get them to read the letter,I was thinking of going over the next day . They deserve to know,we all do .

"Shameless goat,if you come back,I will beat you black and blue," Ifunanya vowed. I really should work on my short attention span.

"If you don't shut up,I will write a story with grammar  so bad that it will kill you from the inside." I threatened. The girl is a true grammar Nazi . Her parents were too obsessed with them growing up with the perfect English, perfect everything actually.

"You don't know my parents, they probably think I am a bit of a disappointment being me. My mom wanted a barbie doll,but as much as I love make up and fashion, I love living and being free too much to be what she expected . I just can never be as serious as she is about it." When she told me that, I looked at the beautiful,smart and sassy young woman in front of me ,and I wondered how someone can see her as a disappointment.