A Wish - Sequel to You Are My Sunshine

Chapter 3 - Snowflakes

Is it just me or did that scene of Lucy be something I would never have dreamt at all?

I sigh and slam my pencil into the hard table. Jellal looks up from Mortal Kombat. "Uh, Nastu, everything okay?" Just then Erza takes the final blow to his character and he loses. "Ah, dam-" 

"Just shut up."

I can tell without looking up that he is slowly backing down. 

I feel hot tears slide down my face in the moist air underneath my arms. "It's just..." I can't say any more without cracking my voice. If Lucy were here, she'd slide her cold hand through my hair and tell me that it was alright. 

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"Hey Flamebrain?" Says a muffled voice from behind my door. I don't speak back. "Juvia got you some spicy burritos with extra hot sauce. Everyone's having dinner so I suggest you come out if you want any." I don't feel hungry, even for my favorite dinner. "Natsu?" The doorknob to my room opens. I forgot to lock it. 

I feel more weight slide onto my bed and weigh part of the mattress down by my knee. 

"You feeling okay?" Gray asks. 

I just remain face-planted into my sheets. Gray flips me over onto my back and stares at me directly in the eyes. I stare back at him, dreary from the amount of hours that I have been laying in my bedroom in darkness with my headphones blasting Radioactive on repeat through the speakers. 

"What Popsicle."

"You don't look too good."

"Since when do you care?!"

Silence. 

"What happened today?"

"Nothing."

"Natsu, I know something happened, so spill it."

"Why does Lucy not like me anymore?!!" I felt a lump in my throat grow bigger by the second.

"What?" 

"She..." I can't say it. "She just..." I get up and start to walk out of the room. Gray grabs my hand and pulls on it. "Just, don't do anything stupid Natsu." And then without saying anything back, I walk to the door ignoring everyone around me and push open the patio doors with as much energy as I have left. 

Why doesn't she like me? 

Snowflakes fall into my hair, then turn into water droplets almost immediately. I'm steaming. It's that feeling where you don't know if you are cold or hot. It's like a cold sweat is running down my neck and back and my feet are freezing cold. 

I feel sick to my stomach. 

Is this what it feels like to be heartsick, heartbroken? All of a sudden I get angry at myself. "Natsu, you are being PATHETIC." I mumble to myself. "You are not going to let one girl ruin you and your life." I spat to myself. Then I thought about Lisanna. Her final breath that day was to tell me to give her ring to Lucy. 

Cold air hits my arms with a thousand blows but I don't care. My eyes get wet and I hold them back. My thoughts run wild but I focus on nothing. This unbelievable feeling where I can't do anything, can't feel anything, and can't think about anything. My body has shut down. I feel the color gray. I don't know what love is anymore. But I force myself to be happy for Lucy, and I can't. 

So I look at the city around me, and stare. Knowing that everyone else in Magnolia is feeling some kind of emotion. Except for me.

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The next day I sleep till the afternoon has come and gone. When I wake up it's gray and hazy outside. 

I didn't get any rest last night. 

My feet walk themselves to the bathroom and my hands splash water on my face. I look into the mirror and see someone. Their hair is in greasy clumps. They have dark circles under their eyes. Their lips are peeling. Their face is pale and has water running down it. Not me. That's not me. I look away from the mirror. 

He looks like me, he talks like me, he thinks like me. But he's not me.