Error Code: Dan Howell (Phan)

Seventeen

"Hey Danny, I brought my pokémon CDs, we can watch them together when you wake up!"  Marita.

"Hey honey, I brought you your favorite chocolates. They're on the table next to your bed. When you wake up feel free to eat them. Love you." Mum.

"Hello son, you like video games right? Well I got you some. Ones you've been talking about wanting to get after you finished your other games, well now you don't have to wait. I left them on the table in your room back at home because I thought it be weird to bring them here. I hope you wake up soon." Dad.

"Hey Dan, I know we haven't really been friends since last time you were in the hospital but I just want you to know Chris and I are still going to come in and visit you because in our eyes you're still our friend. Right Chris?" Pj.

"That's right! Also, the parts for auditions were released, you got some solos, isn't that great? Phil got a good part to, one of the leads actually. You two have some scenes together isn't that cute? Almost as cute as Pj and me." Chris.

"Hi Dan, Phil here. I miss you. School isn't the same when you're not there. I miss your salty attitude and your sweet kisses. I miss your eyes, your laugh, your voice, your jokes, just you. All of you. I love you, and I hope your memory isn't gone because they said you would remember what happened after you got your new heart, which is two years. I don't think I can fill you in on that much, I haven't even been in your life for one year. But that wouldn't matter to me as long as you woke up. I love you, I love you a lot. I miss you, so so much." Phil.

All the voice cloud Dan's head. They visit everyday, the voice he hears the most is Phil's. His voice calms Dan, but it also hurts. Every time he hears his voice he struggles to wake up and see the face that goes to the beautiful voice. He does that with everyone, but mostly Phil.

He has no idea how long he's been out for, or where he is. With some context clues from people who come and go and the beeps he hears he assumes he's in the hospital after whatever happened to him.

He can feel everything, when Phil holds his hand or kisses his head, or when it's one of his parents kissing his head. When Chris messes up Dan's hair and PJ scolds him for being rude to Dan while he's defenseless. All of it. He feels but can't react. He longs to react. He's tired of being touched, he wants to feel.

~

After a long day at school Phil walks to the hospital in the rain, his jacket is drenched, his backpack is most likely drenched, and the tips of his hair are flattened against his forehead. Puddles attack his legs every time his dares to step into their domain and passing cars shoot waves of endless cold on him. He's gotten used to this walk since he takes it every day except when he has art or drama club. Which is every other day. His life has become increasingly busier since Dan left it, and it stinks.

He walks through the automatic sliding doors of the hospital to the reception desk. "Good afternoon Nancy." Phil greets in the monotone voice he's been using more and more recently since Dan had been hospitalized. He swings his backpack over his shoulder so he can open it up. He grabs a small box of chocolates and puts it on her desk. "Happy birthday." He slides it towards her and she smiles.

"Thank you Phil." Nancy gratefully takes the box and Phil flashes her a weak smile before starting to walk off. "Oh wait." Nancy grabs his wrist and he turns back to her. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I overheard some doctors saying Dan might wake up soon."

Phil smiles. "Thank you so much." Nancy lets go of his wrist and he bolts down the hall and up the many stairs and into even more hallways. He's memorized the path to Dan's room over the course of two weeks. He probably visited the most out of anyone, even Dan's parents.