Monsters(The Outsiders Not-So-Love-Love-Story)

Chapter 8

Elliot's POV

I'm really dizzy from all that blood loss, so it's really hard for me to keep up. The train was about to depart but we made it just in time.

I sat in a corner, alone. It was cold too, my fingers felt as if they were about to fall off. I tried blowing warm air with my breath. But failing to do its original purpose. I can feel my self slowly slipping away. The blood loss, it was a lot of blood. It was red, I enjoyed seeing the crimson liquid slowly drip onto the floor and out of my body. You know, that's a nice color. Red. Color of the sun, color of fire trucks, and the color of blood. Keeps us alive, and losing too much of it can kill us, but I let the blood drip out of me to feel alive.

My fingers feel numb, cold, and empty. The floor is hard, cold cement. I'm shaking and feel as if I have no control over my shivering. I keep waiting and waiting for Ponyboy to offer me to huddle, but I keep waiting for something that will never come.

This weather feels as cold as my soul, I would feel warmer next to Ponyboy.

Then I realize I'm staring at him because he looks at me, so look away and out of the box car. Looking at the moon, so I wouldn't have to look at him...

"Elliot, wake up. We're here." Johnny wakes me up, probably because Pony didn't want to, I longingly look at Pony. Longingly want him to kiss me and tell me I'm going to be alright. Johnny must notice, he smiles sympathetically at me. He extends his hand, I gladly take it.

"Elliot, your skin is like ice." Johnny says with shock clear in his voice. Pony whips his head around. "let me feel." He walks towards me but I push past him. "I'm fine, let's go" It's really hard to walk due to my numbness and my shivering. I just want Jude, my parents to love me, and Ponyboy to not be mad at me for something I couldn't help. I cut because I needed help.

I just desperately want someone to see me and hold me. Pony has to ask which way to Jay Mountain, a kind constructor told us where it was.

It a was getting colder now that the sun was going down, we found the church. dally was right as hell about it being abandoned.

I kicked a hole through the wood blocking our entrance, shit loads of dust sitting on the wooden planks for an unknown amount of time, the dusts slumber is disturbed by me.

We make our way inside, it seems colder in here than it is out side. it feels abandoned, alone, dusty, old, useless, and cold. I can imagine, the towns people just gathering in here. little girls with their bows and dresses. men in their Sunday best. The priest, just preaching about life lessons. or lessons you can use in life.

But the image quickly fades away by my sleepiness, my legs start to wobble. I lay down on the dusty floor, hoping to get more sleep.

PONY'S POV

I see Elliot get on the floor and go to sleep. I want to go over there and gather her in my arms. I can't help but feel that it was my fault that she did the to her self. I bring myself to her, only to see a horror. Her lips were blue and purple, her hair was in knotted mats on the floor, she was shivering like crazy, she was crying in her sleep, and she started to mumble "Jude..." I gather her up in my arms, and she feels like ice.

It pains me to know that I'm the reason for her cutting, I caused her this much pain. we started to be friends, and we were so close...but I never knew she was doing this to her self, I'm so stupid. not realizing her pain. why she wore long sleeves on hot days. I try to warm her up, but it sort of works. I've been avoiding her, not cause I'm mad... Well I'm mad she didn't tell me, but Im mad at my self.

I couldn't bare to look at her knowing I did that to her, I look at her an think. Her once perfectly pinkish red lips now blue and purple, her once untouched wrists, now covered in gashes and scars, her once brown eyes full of life and energy, now closed and depressed, her once amazing giggle and laugh that made my stomach flip and go all World War II, now only silence fills the air.