Monsters(The Outsiders Not-So-Love-Love-Story)

Chapter 11

ELLIOT

Tears and tears roll down my red tinted cheeks, it's cold, getting dark out and I feel the Socs hands on me again. The feeling of losing my virginity, It was horrid. I shake and cry, shaking and crying. I almost forgot to dye my hair, I shakily grab the bottle of peroxide. And I give myself ombré hair.

I don't even know how it looks but I just collapse on the ground again, crying. "Elliot?" I recognize the soft tone to Johnny's voice, "are you alright?" I shakily get myself off of the ground, I fake a smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I tell Johnny, but tears violently flow down my cheeks. He raises his eyebrows at me, he guides me to the ground again because my knees were about to give out, he noticed.

he gathered me in his lap like earlier, I cry and cry into his chest. Until I hear Johnny softly singing.

"Don't forget where you belong, oh oh
Don't forget where you belong, oh oh
If you ever feel alone, don't
You are never on your own
And the proof is in this song"

I smile slightly at the soothing roughness of his voice, it's smooth and rough at the same time. He rocks me back and forth, and hums those words over and over.

My crying slowly ceases to a halt, I fall into a dreamless sleep...

*one week later*

I feel horrible, I cut at night with my emergency blade I had that night in the lot. When they're sleeping, I go out back and cut. It helps me,a lot.

I have nightmares every single god damned night.

It gets worse every night, this is how it goes almost everyday. We wake up, wash our hands, eat baloney sandwiches, well the guys do II don't eat, they play cards while I go out back and hum my favorite songs and climb a tree and look up at the sky and sunsets, cut, cry, miss Jude and talking to pony about everything, cut, cry, watch the sunsets go inside and sleep on the far end of the church away from Johnny and Pony, I haven't spoken to them since the day Pony and I broke up.

I miss that feeling I got when I kissed him, oh I craved it. He hasn't made and effort to talk to me at all. He doesn't even look upset about it, it's strange seeing him as a blonde though. I make my way out of my spot where I sleep and climb my tree, I named it 'Jude'.

The tree isn't big, but it's strong and nature. Fresh and pure, like Jude was. I will never be able to forgive myself.

I hear a car approaching the curch, but I don't turn my head to see who it is. Who would want to see me, huh? No one cares, not Johnny or Pony. They haven't made an effort to even talk to me, so that singing that Johnny did. Was all an act, an act of pity. No one cares about me, I'm in so much pain. I forgot what it's like to be happy.

I feel the same feeling of when the soc touched me every night, but this time the whole gang watched and laughed. The soc ends up stabbing me at the end of every dream. That's when I wake up.

"Elliot?" My body shoots up at the familiar ring to his voice, I have missed him so much. Dally.

I fall out of the tree but I shake it off, I run inside the curch. I see Pony standing there, here come the water works. But I run towards dally and give him the biggest hug that any human could possibly give.

I cry and cry in his chest, I pull away and he looks at me with sympathy in his eyes. "Hey kid, how are ya?"

Flashes of my entire life come back to me at once, I look at the ground. I look back up to him even though there is a whole ocean coming out of my eyes. I tell him "I'm fine." I look back to the ground but he lifts my chin up looks into my eyes and says "I know you're not." I collapse on the floor with racked sobs coming out of my body. "Hey, let's get some thing to eat. I'm starved."