Torn

Chapter 18

"Okay, I can do this. No big deal," I kept telling myself as i stood beside my bed and stared at my phone. Harry's been "on a walk" for almost a full day, and hasn't been responding to any of the boy's texts or calls. He should be at the studio with them right now, but he's not.They think that he might answer to me, but I know he won't. He was so angry at me yesterday.

To be honest, I do miss him. And I actually do want to talk to him too, like Louis had suggested for me yesterday. Harry's my best friend, and I can't help but worry where he is.

I quickly grabbed my phone and sat down nervously. I hit his speed dial button and held my phone to my ear.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"What?" A husky, british voice said through the phone. I sighed with relief and opened my mouth to speak but he had already beat me to it.

"Are you with the other lads?" Harry asked plainly. I frowned that he was still upset.

"No, I'm at the house still. Paul already brought them to the studio," I said in a matter of fact voice.

"Alright, I'll be there in a minute," he said before he hung up. I trotted downstairs and grabbed a water bottle for Harry out of the fridge.

The more I think about it, the less angrier I get. The exact opposite of yesterday. Sabrina's attitude still gets me mad, but I need Harry right now.

"Izzy?" Harry yelled as the door opened. I walked out of the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe.

"Can we please talk?" I asked quietly. He slammed the door behind him and took a few steps closer to me.

"Talk about what? How much you love Louis, and how much you want to be with him?" Harry yelled. I crossed my arms over my chest and set his water down on the counter, along with my phone and jacket.

"Why are you so jealous?" I yelled back. He ran a hand through his curls and threw his keys at the ground hard, making me jump a little.

"Why?" I yelled even louder. I swear I see tears in his eyes.

"Izzy.. I've always loved you. So much. And you always made me feel like you love me back, so I took a chance and kissed you. But you don't. And you have no idea how much that hurts. You made me believe that I had a chance with you," Harry said, growing down to a whisper. Wow.. I kinda agree with him. Maybe I just didn't notice he had feelings like that for me, cause I'm always too focused on my own problems, and not anyone else's. I looked down at my feet, embarrassed.

"Harry, I-" I started before he cut me off by raising his hand.

"Just get in the car," he whispered. I grabbed my phone and jacket and walked out to his car. I feel like crying, but I don't because I don't want to drown into somber over my own problems.

"Okay boys, lets do Over Again," Their warmup coach suggested. Liam nodded and waited for his part as the band played behind them.

"Said I'd never leave her cause her hands fit like my t-shirt, Tongue tied over three words, cursed. Running over thoughts that make my feet hurt, Body's intertwined with her lips," Liam sang with his eyes closed. He swayed back and forth to the beat and looked to Niall when he was done.

"Now she's feeling so low since she went solo, Hole in the middle of my heart like a polo. And its no joke to me, so can we do it all over again?"

"If you're pretending from the start, like this, with a tight grip, then my kiss, can mend your broken heart. I might miss everything you said to me," the boys all sung together. I missed hearing them in person. All of the recordings I had on my phone never compared to the complete joy of hearing them live, in front of me. I could hear Harry's voice the most as they subg the other part to the chorus. His voice was shaky and small, just like earlier when we were fighting. Him and I never fight. I just wish I could have realized he loved me like that.

As he started for his solo, his eyes locked directly on mine, but then he jerked them shut. Just like he was straining tears. My phone vibrated a text from Sabrina. The fifteenth one today so far. I ignored it and threw in at my feet. I don't want him and I and Sabrina to be fighting. Its horrible. But, it's so hard to forgive because then you start to trust again, and everything could fall just like it did it the first place. I miss Sabrina, don't get me wrong, but I'm still mad. Its kinda my fault though. I've made a mess. And I realize that I need to fix that.

As Louis finished his flawless part, I stared down at my hands and noticed a tear fell on them. One after another after another. I quickly jumped up and ran towards the bathroom down the hall. If I had been here for the past two years, I probably wouldn't have almost ran into the men's room.

I slid my back down the wall and sobbed just as hard as the day before. I wrapped my arms around my knees and tucked them closer to my stomach. My racking body shook back and forth while I tried taking deep breaths. Who knew that crying hurts so bad?

"Izzy?" A voice cooed from behind the closed door.

"Leave.. Me.. Alone," I tried saying through my sobs. There was a second of silence and then the door opened. It was Harry. He knelt down next to me and laid his hands on mine.

"I'll move on."