Supernatural in Real Life 3

Chapter 8

I was wrong. So very, very wrong.
The next day, I'm woken up by a strange feeling in my stomach. Strange probably isn't the right word for this. It's more like incredibly painful to the point where I feel like my stomach is about to literally explode.
I groan and sit up. Oh my god, that hurt. What was that? And there it is again. I look down at my stomach, frowning. The feeling comes again, harder than the last two, and I whimper. Ow!
Immediately, Lucifer appears next to me. When did he leave? Oh well, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that I feel like someone is killing me from the inside.
"What's wrong?" Lucifer asks worriedly.
"I think it's kicking me," I tell him. "And it hurts! Is there anything you can do to make it stop?" I ask, but I have no faith that he can.
"I wish," he replies. "But unfortunately not. Unless you want to see if someone can get rid of it."
I shake my head. "No way. That would kill it, wouldn't it?"
"Unfortunately," Lucifer replies. "But if it's too much for you..."
"No, I'm fine," I lie. "We're not hurting it, okay?"
"I don't want to, either," Lucifer replies. "But if it hurts this much now, how much worse do you think it's gonna get?"
I hadn't thought of that. "It doesn't matter. This is our kid, Lucifer. I don't care what happens. I'm having this baby."
Lucifer hesitates before saying, "I know how you feel, but if things get out of hand-"
"I'm having this baby," I repeat sternly.
He sighs. "I know. So, baby names?" he asks in a more cheerful tone.
"I don't know yet," I reply. "How 'bout you? What are you thinking?"
"I don't know either," Lucifer says. "I don't know how to name things. This is entirely up to you."
"Well, you're no help," I say with a slight laugh, which gets interrupted by another kick. I wince, but don't mention it for fear of worrying Lucifer. "This is gonna be a long few days."
"Probably," he agrees. "Try to go back to sleep, okay?"
I nod once and lie down, but I can't get comfortable. My back hurts, so I roll onto my side, but even the soft mattress hurts my ever growing breasts at the slight touch. I sigh and roll back into my back. This is going to be such a long few days.

I wake up with Lucifer's arm around me. I look up at him with a smile, but it's a bit forced, thanks to the pain of pregnancy. He smiles back at me, his thoughts all positive things. I snuggle up to him, and he holds me close. It's perfect.
The baby takes this opportunity to kick me in the lungs, and I sit up immediately, gasping for breath. Lucifer is instantly alert, sitting up and rubbing my back reassuringly.
"What's wrong?" he asks. "What happened?"
I hold up a finger to gesture for him to wait until I catch my breath. Finally, I say, "The baby kicked me in the lungs."
"Ooh, that's not fun," he replies sympathetically.
And that's how the next few days go. Unfortunately, it only gets worse. The baby never stops kicking, and by the next day, I've officially decided that sleep in not an option for me anymore. I remain in bed for the next few days, only getting up to go to the bathroom, which happens more and more frequently. I can't wait for this to be over!
It's the eighth day of this torture, and I'm finally giving up. With Lucifer's help, I manage to walk to the living room. I'm still not used to having this much weight pulling me forward, and I can't find my balance on my own. This is why I need my human crutch. Angel crutch, technically, but it works just as well.
"Hi, guys," I greet everyone weakly.
"H-Woah, you look one crap," Gabriel says.
"I wonder why," I say sarcastically.
The baby kicks the inside of my stomach, but by this point, I'm so used to it, I barely flinch. The baby's been getting stronger, and I'm beginning to wish I could go back in time and endure the beginning of the baby kicks, because it was much less painful.
"Are you sure you should be out of bed?" Crowley asks. I've decided to stick with calling him that, for the sake of convenience.
"Yeah, why not?" I respond with a careless shrug. "I'm basically eight months in. No one spends a month in bed. Probably." I add the last part because I don't actually know how pregnancy works. Maybe people do spend that long in bed.
"No, but this isn't a normal baby," Ruth reminds me. "Maybe you should be in bed."
"Nah, I'll pass," I reply. "Bed's boring."
"It's not a whole lot more fun out here," Rob tells me. "Trust me, you haven't missed much."
"I missed social interaction," I reply.
"Wow, Bailey, after all I've done for you," Lucifer says in a jokingly annoyed tone.
"I missed socially interacting in a group," I clarify.
"Much better," Lucifer adds.
"Well, we're a group you can socially interact with, so interact away!" Osric says with a laugh.
"That's the plan," I reply. "Just, uh, don't stop talking and try to make time go by faster, okay, guys?"
"You cannot alter the flow of time," Castiel says.
"No, I meant-never mind." Castiel wouldn't understand it anyway.
"Where's Jace?" Lucifer asks, looking around.
"I thought you didn't like Jace," Osric reminds him with a teasing smile.
"I don't. I'm just wondering-"
Suddenly, the kitten's small head appears as she looks into the room. She runs towards Lucifer, who picks her up and holds her, stroking her head softly.
"Yeah, it really looks like you don't like her," Osric says sarcastically.
If Lucifer has a retort to that, we don't get to hear it, because that's when I have a contraction. It's not my first, but I'm still not used to it. Unfortunately, it happens again almost immediately, and that's when it becomes clear to me.
"I think this is happening now," I tell everybody urgently.
"What? No, it's supposed to be tomorrow," Lucifer reminds me.
"Yeah, but it's not," I snap. "So someone do something right now or I swear to god-"
"Hospital?" Jared suggests.
"We can't," Castiel replies. "This type of thing, it's never been seen before. We don't know what might happen when it's born. If we go to the hospital-"
"We need to go to the hospital!" Jared protests. "None of us are doctors!"
"People have been giving birth since before hospitals existed," I remind them. "How hard can it be?"
Unfortunately, it's very hard. After what feel like years of blood, sweat, and tears, it's finally over. The author doesn't know how childbirth works, so let's just skip that part and get to the handing me the baby.
"Oh my god," I breathe, looking at the baby in my hands. "She's beautiful."
Lucifer, sitting next to me in my bed, looks over at her as well. "It's a girl?" he repeats, and I nod. "What are you going to name her?"
I think about this for a moment. I could be a total cliche and name her after someone here, like Lucy or Jen, but I feel like I shouldn't. I want her to have a name all to herself.
"Macie," I decide finally.
"Macie," Lucifer repeats. "I like that."
The baby coos, as if she's agreeing as well. I laugh softly and hold her close. She's so cute!
"Here, you should get to hold her, too," I say to Lucifer, handing him the baby before he can protest.
He looks down at her perfect light blue eyes, and he smiles. "She really is beautiful," he agrees.
There's a knocking on the door, followed by Jensen asking loudly, "You guys stopped yelling. Is it over yet?"
"Hold on!" I call, quickly changing into something less gross. I had no idea this was going to be so messy. I sit back down with Lucifer, and he hands me Macie again. "Feel free to come in!" I say quietly. I don't want to scare Macie, so I don't speak any louder. Jensen seems to hear it anyway, because the door opens, and everyone is outside, looking at the three of us.
"I can't see!" Osric complains, his head popping up occasionally as he jumps. "Why's the tall guy up front?"
"Because I got here first," Jared replies.
I ignore them and look down at Macie, who's looking back at me. I give her a smile, and she seems to smile back.
"Hi, cutie," I say in that voice you are obligated to use when talking to babies or animals. "Aw, you're adorable! Look at your perfect little eyes! Aw, you're a cutie! Yeah!"
Macie giggles, flailing her arms around in the cutest way possible. Watching her laugh makes me laugh softly, too. I never thought I'd say this, but those eight days of torture were absolutely worth it.
"Can I hold her?" Ruth asks from outside.
I hesitate. I don't want to be rude, but I sort of want to keep Macie with just Lucifer and me for now, until she gets used to us.
"I think we should let her get used to us first," Lucifer says for me. "Later, though."
"But-"
Suddenly, the door closes. I look at Lucifer, assuming he closed it, but be looks surprised as well. There's knocking on the other side, but I barely notice it over Macie's laughing.
"N!" she repeats.
"Did she just...?" I ask slowly.
"I think so," Lucifer replies.
"So she's definitely not human," I observe.
"No, she's not," Lucifer tells me. "But I don't know what she is. I don't think she'll be a danger, though. Not if we raise her right. As long as she stays with us and not in Heaven or Hell..."
"Wa?" Macie says in a questioning tone, which is really weird from a baby.
"It's okay, Macie," I assure her quietly. "You're gonna be just fine, okay? Mommy and Daddy are gonna make sure of it."
"Mama?" she repeats. "Dada?"
Lucifer and I share a look. She's speaking? She's only a couple minutes old! Even with the month every day logic, she shouldn't be talking yet.
"Yeah," Lucifer replies finally, but I can tell he's concerned. "Mama and Dada."
"Dada!" she says enthusiastically, reaching out for him. I hand him the baby, and he holds her close.
"Yeah, sweetie," Lucifer says.
"Dada bright!"
"What?" I say in surprise. "Bright?"
"I don't think she's seeing my vessel," Lucifer tells me. "I think she's seeing me."
"Fly, Dada!"
I can't help but laugh at that one. "Okay, this is adorable," I say.
Macie turns her head to look at me. "Mama no fly?"
I laugh again. "No, Mama can't fly," I agree.
"Fly!" Macie says again. She begins to lift out of Lucifer's arms, slowly but effectively.
"Um... Lucifer? Is she... Flying?"
Lucifer nods, looking rattled. "Yeah. Yeah, she's flying."
"Why is she flying?"
"Fly fun!" Macie exclaims.
"I'm sure it is," I agree, "but could you maybe come down?"
"Why?" Macie asks.
"Because Mama asked you to," Lucifer says kindly. "See, Mama knows everything, so you should listen to her."
Macie laughs. "Mama don't know everything!" The way she says it sounds like "evwytin."
"Macie, baby, can you please come down?" I ask again.
"'Kay!" She floats down back into Lucifer's arms. "Dada!"
"Hi, sweetheart," Lucifer says.
"You scared?" she asks, her "r" sounding like a "w."
"No, of course I'm not scared," Lucifer replies, not in an egotistical way, but more to reassure her. "I'm just worried for you. You can't fly around all the time, okay?"
"Why?"
"Because if you keep doing that, someone is going to take you away from us, and Mama and Dada don't want that, okay?"
"Why?"
"Because they're jealous that they don't have a baby as cute as you."
Macie giggles. "Who they?"
Lucifer looks at me for help, but I don't know how to answer either. I don't know what we should tell her. Finally, Lucifer answers.
"They're bad people, and you don't want to meet them. So, don't do a lot of magical things, okay?"
"Magic?" she repeats.
"Things that you can do that others can't do," Lucifer clarifies. "Which I guess probably doesn't help you..."
"Like dis?" Suddenly, she begins to glow. Lucifer and I watch in awe as she shines brighter and brighter.
"Yeah, like that," Lucifer agrees. "That's what you shouldn't do."
"Okay!" She suddenly stops glowing, and I breathe a quiet sigh of relief. Wow, this is so not what I expected when I decided to go out with the devil.
"Thank you, sweetie," I say.
"Yeah Mama!" Macie reaches out to me with her arms, so Lucifer hands her to me so she can give me a hug.
"Um, guys? We're still out here," Jensen reminds us.
"Oh, right, sorry," I say. "Lucifer, can you open the door?"
Lucifer nods. The door begins to open, but then shuts again. Macie giggles, and it's clear it was her that closed it. Lucifer begins to open it again, but it closes.
"See, this is one of those things you shouldn't do," I tell her.
"Oh." The door opens, revealing a very confused group of people. "Hi!"
"Um... Hi?" Jensen replies, clearly questioning how such a small baby can talk. "I swear you've grown since you shut this door."
Looking at her, it's very possible that's true. She does look a little bigger than she did a few minutes ago. This is not a good sign. This is probably about a month's worth of growth already. Or maybe it's less, I don't know. I've never watched s kid grow up before.
"Mama? Dada? Who they?" Macie asks.
"These are our friends," I tell her.
"Well..." Lucifer says, so I elbow him in the ribs.
"Hi, friends!" Macie says happily.
"Hey, cutie!" Ruth says with a smile.
"I'm cold," Macie complains.
"Oh, right," Lucifer mutters, and he creates a pink baby outfit for her to wear. He tries to put it on her, but she takes it and slips it on herself, with only a few mistakes.
"I did it!" she says proudly. "Mama, look! I did it!"
I laugh. "Yeah, you did!" I agree. "Good job!"
"Okay, since no one else is gonna say it, I will," Jensen says. "There's a freaking talking baby right now, and no one cares?"
"Why would they?" Macie asks. "You talk, too!"
"Yeah, but I wasn't born a few minutes ago! This is not normal!" Suddenly, Jensen is flung into the wall, and released almost immediately. "Son of a bitch," he mutters. Glancing at Macie, he adds, "Pardon my French and all that."
"Tu ne parles Français," Macie says, looking as puzzled as I feel.
"Um... What?" Jensen says in both confusion and shock.
"What was that, sweetie?" I ask in a kinder way.
"Il ne parles pas Français!" Macie repeats.
"No, he didn't," Lucifer agrees. "It's an expression."
"Oh!" Macie says, back to being completely happy instead of confused.
"What did she say?" I ask Lucifer, assuming he understands whatever it was.
"He didn't say anything in French," Lucifer explains.
"You speak French?" I don't know if I'm directing this at Lucifer or Macie right now.
"Yeah!" Macie says.
"Angels can speak any earthly language," Lucifer tells me. "Maybe Macie got that from me."
"You speak French, Mama?" Macie asks me.
I shake my head. "No, I just speak English."
"Oh," is Macie's only response. "Mama, I tired."
"Alright, I'll get Daddy to make you a crib, okay?"
"No!" Macie replies quickly. "I no want crib! I stay wit you!"
"Okay," I agree, unable to hide the joy I feel when she says that.
"Goodnight, Mama!"
"Goodnight, Macie," I reply, even though it's not night yet.
"I'm just gonna... Go..." Jensen says, walking away quickly. Everyone else follows, apparently deciding it's not worth their time. I lean against a wall, holding Macie in my arms as she closes her eyes. I rock her slowly, waiting for her to fall asleep. Lucifer watched us with a faint smile. A few minutes later, she's sleeping silently.
"This is so not how I thought today would go," Lucifer says.
I laugh softly, trying not to wake the baby.  "Oh yeah, definitely. It's better."
Lucifer nods. "Way better." He hesitates before saying, "Jensen's right. Wow, I can't believe I just said that. She's been alive for about half an hour, and she's speaking in almost correct complete sentences. Hell, she's speaking in French sentences. I may not know a lot about kids, but I'm pretty sure this isn't normal."
"I know," agree. "But let's not question it. We pretty much already knew she wasn't going to be human. This isn't the weirdest thing that could have happened."
Lucifer nods in agreement. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Do you think she grew already?" I ask.
"Oh yeah. She's definitely a little bigger than she was a few minutes ago. I guess the month everyday plan isn't going to cut it anymore."
"Guess not," I agree.
"Do you think Michael is going to...?"
I shake my head. "No, probably not. Not yet, anyway. And as long as we keep her under control, we probably don't have anything to worry about."
"I hope so," Lucifer replies. "I really, really do."