Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Reader

While You Were Sleeping (I Thought)- The Winter Soldier

"And, (Y/N), I mean, I don't even know how to tell you how much I love you." Were the first words you heard as you slowly opened your eyes. You didn't move around too much but you did steal a glance at the alarm clock positioned on your night stand. 1:27 a.m. It was late, but the whispers you heard in your sleep spoke to you, forcing you to awaken.

"You, you're amazing. I don't even know how I got you," You could hear a familiar voice speaking to you. After a moment or so of processing the sound, you realized it was James. "But I have done horrific and terrible things in my past, yet you stay with me. I know you can't hear me, but you're so beautiful and I wish I had the guts to say this to you while you're awake. I'm such a coward." So he thought you were still asleep, but instead of moving, you continued laying there and listened to his confession.

"Do you remember when we went camping in Washington State? How when we got lost in the middle of no where and I sat there and screamed at you?" You could hear his voice grow bitter at the memory, but you smiled nonetheless. "I blamed you because your phone device died and we didn't have shelter or food and we were hiking in the woods. I was expecting you to defend yourself or yell at me because I had the audacity to speak to you in that tone. But you didn't, you sat there and took it like it was nothing. After I finished, you didn't say a word as you got out our blankets from the picnic and made a makeshift tent with one and a bed with the other."

He coughed quietly, doing his best not to wake you though you could hear the tears he was choking on. "God you're so smart. You blew off everything I said to you and fixed the mess you didn't make. You even made a fire and gave me the last granola bar and the rest of the water you had in your canister. I never did anything with them though, I was too pissed off. But then you just started talking about our plans for the next day. How it would be light outside and we would attempt to follow our old footprints. I grunted in response and went to the tent."

This time he actually cried. You knew this because you could feel the bed move in rhythm with his shaking shoulders. Silent sobs escaped his lips as tears ran from your eyes. You had never 'seen' him be so emotional and you wanted it to stop so you could hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. But your curious mind stopped you. You wanted to know why he was saying all of these things so randomly. So you bit your lip as he continued.

"I could hear you crying out by the fire once you thought I was sleeping. You were asking for more strength and emotional control so that you could stay with me. You asked for ways you could help me with what I had gone through and that you would be able to stay with me. I listened and knew I had hurt you, more times than I was willing to admit then. But now, now I would anything for you and I hate myself for all the screaming and cursing I've directed towards you. You are so strong (Y/N), the strongest person I've ever known."

Salty teardrops poured from your eyes uncontrollably, making it more and more difficult to hold in your emotions, resisting the urge to sob yourself.

"And I've been thinking about these kind of things lately because I... I think you're the one (Y/N). I mean, God, I love you so much more than you'll ever know. And I realized the only realized the only reason I take my anger out on you is because I know you'll always stay. I am so pathetic and fucked up (Y/N), I'm more work than any single person should have to deal with. But here you are, loving me unconditionally."

He went silent for a moment and you could feel the bed move slightly, seeming to struggle with whatever he was doing. When all stood still, he began to speak once more, this time not hiding the emotions in his words.

"I want to marry you (Y/N). I want to marry you and have a house bigger than you could ever wish for. I want to have little feet running around that house and help us decorate the tree at Christmas. And those little feet are going to have your eyes and smile and every trait of yours because they are going to be as beautiful as you are. God forbid one look like me because there is no way another Barnes could get as lucky as me with you." He laughed at the idea. "And then one day they'll go to school and we'll go to work because we have to support those little feet running around. Eventually they'll grow up and then we'll get to have more little feet we can spoil and send back to their parents because that's what we're suppose to do."

James scooted closer to you, kissing your shoulder gently.

"I wish I had the courage to ask you this awake, but I guess this is good practice right?" You felt his laughter vibrate through his chest and into your back. "(Y/FN), will you marry me? If you say yes, I only want it to be because you want to and you love me. Also, that you aren't afraid to have small people who may end up looking like me. So, what do ya say? Will you be my gal 'til the end of the line?" He said, sighing at the end of his spiel, proud that he actually did it.

"Yes," was the only word you could muster, yet it was barely audible. "(Y/N)!? Did you hear all of that?" James asked you, sitting up from his current lying position. "Oh my god, oh my god. I'm so sor-" He was cut off abruptly by your kiss sealing his lips. He kissed back instantly, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pushing you against the back board of the bed. After countless breathless seconds, he finally pulled back from each other, breathing heavily, foreheads against one another.

James then dug around his legs until he found a piece of medal he had been holding onto. It was a simple gold ring with a small diamond. Nothing fancy or expensive, just a simple band of love that he slipped onto your left-ring finger.

"I love you (Y/N)," he exclaimed, sitting himself into a sitting position and pulling you onto his lap as he leaned forwards. "As do I to you James," you replied, meeting him halfway.

___________________________________________________

-i