Regain // h.s.

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

[A/N] Please play this song in the background while you're reading this. It sorta helps you understand.

~~~~~~~

Have you ever wondered why things happen?

She stood there on a cliff, feeling the nipping sea breeze against her skin as it flowed through her hair. EJ stood beside her, Harry behind her, Liam to her left. Her siblings were looking out onto the sea. Her mum was beside Harry, holding his hand and laying her head on his shoulder. Everyone was happy, they all had her in their life. As the wind touched her skin it brought upon memories to her mind. Ones she almost forgot about.

If it happened for a reason?

"Darcy, baby you look so much like her. It amazes me yet it pains me." She looked down to her father and saw his face. He had a stray tear falling from his eyes, ones she knew she created. Quickly she hugged him, knowing he needed it. "When we hug, I can feel her hugging me."

"Dad, I miss her so much," she whispered as she started crying. They all had missed Rissa so much. Who hadn't though? 

The memory brought tears to Darcy's eyes as she looked behind her to see her father standing there with more tears in his eyes. "I love you, Daddy," she whispered as she turned to look back at the beautiful sunset, more memories pushing their way into the light. 

If you're meant to meet certain people? 

"I'll help you," he paused, "on one condition," Liam's voice rang out as she remembered the memory. They were laying on a blanket under a full sky of stars. They locked eyes and she smiled the biggest one yet up at his face.

She giggled, asking, "What is this 'one condition'?" He smiled back at her as he got up on one elbow and leant close to her face, not breaking the eye contact. She began to smirk as she waited for his answer.

"You have to live with me for a whole month," he responded as she let out a breath quickly. Darcy bit her lip as she leant in a gave his lips a quick and subtle kiss. 

"You've got yourself a deal Mr. Payne," I repeated like I did that day as I looked over to my left, the wind blowing my hair. His eyes were filled with tears as he waved to me. My stomach dropped, my heart going into my throat, choking me with tears. 

Have you ever wondered if everything you've ever experienced was real?

"You're my baby sister, Darce. Of course, I'm going to look after you," James said as he hugged his broken sister, hoping he was strong enough to put her back together with one squeeze. Everything went dark as another memory flooded and mushed in together with this one, making it hard to distinguish. "All I remember is living at grandmum's for the past six years because Dad was too emotionally depressed and unstable to raise us," James yelled as he pushed Darcy to the ground. He walked over to her and stood over her, sticking his foot on her chest.

"Watch your mouth," I muttered.

"Oh because it's all about you isn't it? Darcy this, and Darcy that. That's all I get from anything now-a-days." James removed the foot and bent down so he was eye-level with Darcy. "I wish that gunshot would've killed you." Six gunshots rang all around them as he started laughing. 

I didn't even have the heart to look at my older brother. . .but I did it anyway. He gave me a small and sad nod as he looked down on Matthew who was crying. Matthew. My little Matthew. I wanted to tell him I loved him but the words weren't coming to me. Instead I waved back to him, he lost it. Matt started crying heavily, breaking my heart.

The ocean waves rolled against the rocks and I looked back at them. The sun was almost down, I knew I didn't have much longer left. I felt EJ's touch on my shoulders, sending me into a frenzy.

Or if it were some bizarre dream you never wake up from?

"I know where your mom is," he stated boldly, the words ringing around her head. "Angel and Derek Canyon. Ten years old. Aberdeen, Scotland." Darcy smiled at the tone of his voice. "I won't ever hurt you," he whispered. "I want to be your protector but I also want to be your lover, if you'll let me." Darcy smiled up at him giving him the answer he was hoping for. 

Lights shifted the memory into one she wanted to see. His lips crashed onto hers in passion, his hand cupping her face, the other holding her hand. EJ let her know that she was loved, that she would always have a lover here in him. He pulled her body closer to his, turning the kiss into a makeout session right before their hair turned grey and monitor beeps shifted the scene to a hospital room. 

They laid side by side in two different beds, looking at each other. One dying from lung cancer, the other from an open heart surgery that didn't work. They both knew they were dying, but at least they knew they would die together, happily surrounded by their kids and grandkids. One monitor started beeping at a weird rhythm and that's when they reached out for each other's hands. They both passed holding their love, feeling loved, happy.

I never realised I was crying until I looked at EJ who was in tears too. He kissed my cheek and nodded yes, as if he were telling me it were okay. My breathing became faster as I realised that I wouldn't be seeing these people anymore. I turned so I could face them and that's when I saw my mother, standing there looking at me, blonde hair, huge grin, tear-filled eyes. 

She mouthed the words make a choice, and that's when it hit me. I could go to the ocean and die, or I could stay and fight for the people I loved. I looked around at everyone and opened my arms wide as I ran towards my parents. Everyone followed and once the last person hit me, pain shot through my body. 

Excruciating pain. 

As if it were bringing me back to life.

As if I had never left Earth or been given the chance to leave.

As if I were alive.

Have you ever wondered?