A/N: Yes. I know I owe you big time so I am uploading a few chapters altogether today. Have patience. I am dealing with a big writer's block. I just finished chapter seven a minute ago. I am so sorry. I don't think I can finish this book within this year but I am still hoping. Fingers crossed. Thank you for the new reads and votes. Enjoy these three chapters by the way and enjoy it while it is still free. mwaaaah!
Tia, most of the time is with me. She's really taking time to visit me here at Amy's. After a week of vacation in my parent's house, I found my way back to my Aunt's. Mom was insisting that I should just stay at home with them while I'm not yet perfectly well. I said that I still need to readjust and prepare to work again.
I am not sure what they mean about 'well'. I don't see anything wrong with me. I got bored with the routine that I had back there. My days would start early in the morning, having breakfast with Mom and Dad. Kenny normally leaves at a much earlier time for his classes in the university.
After breakfast, I would help clear the table and then spend the rest of the morning in the yard reading books if not writing them. Mom and I would eat lunch while Dad is away for work. I sometimes volunteer in cooking for lunch but of course, Mom wouldn't want to be relieved from the kitchen.
In the afternoon, if I'm not feeling lazy, I would run for an hour around the neighborhood and sweat out. Before eve, I would freshen up and prepare for dinner with the family. Kenny would always bring Tia up during meals. He would always remember something and relate it or link it back to Tia. Sometimes I assume that Kenny is no longer crushing on Tia but is indeed falling in love with her.
"Lana back to earth!" Tia would wave on my face when she noticed I spaced out on her again. She would always ask for the attention when she's speaking just like now.
"I was telling you about this guy I met in the office! He's really nice, kinda cute, very friendly and smart. In short, he could be the perfect guy for you." She beamed. I looked at her uninterested.
"What? Don't you think it's just about the time that you find yourself a boyfriend? I know you were a lesbian but maybe, just maybe you find interest in them boys too." She went back to lying on the bed with her head on my lap while I try to look preoccupied with a book on my hand.
"You just said it, Tia. I was a lesbian. What made you think I'd be interested in guys? I asked without any emotion. I am fine. I don't need a boyfriend or a girlfriend who would only make things a lot complicated. I'm still enjoying freedom. I'm pretty sure relationships are very demanding. It would require me my time, attention and of course emotion. I am still proving to everyone that I am emotionally and mentally well. Distractions will only falter and diverge the attention away from myself.
"Well, since you have a tiny bit of amnesia, might as well make use of it. Maybe you'd find guys interesting too. Or maybe we can find you a feminine guy if he exists." She laughed after that. I can only imagine a guy with boobs and a vagina. That's weird. I scrunched my nose with the idea.
"Come on, Lana. It's still early. Why don't we go out once again, just like when we were younger? Don't you miss dancing and drinking? At least this time, we don't have to ask permission from parents or sneak out past guards in the dorm, or think about classes for the next day. We're adults. We can do adulting, you know?" Excitedly she bounced on the bed trying to get as much of my attention making me dizzy in the process.
I remove my glasses and laid the book I was "reading" on the table beside the bed. "Alright! I guess there's no harm in having a little fun." I made my way to my closet to change while Tia shouted her victory.
I never kept a diary. Even the doctor's advice didn't help push me to make one. The memories are really creeping back at a fast pace nowadays. I watch them like a movie with my eyes closed. It is as if I'm watching somebody else's life come in to play inside my head. I can empathize with her for she was me. The difference is that I can no longer relate to it and be that person whose life unfolds before me again.
I can remember Blake and I. I can remember how we met, which was back in college. She was a professor and I was a student. She got interested in me and the rest was history. I remember all my firsts with her. I remember our first date, our first kiss which is technically, the first time we made out in a public washroom.
That part was really steamy and as much as I don't want to be affected, it got me worked up. I guess that's normal when watching love scenes, right? I'm still human, mind you. Regardless of the replay of movies inside my head, I did not dare open them up to anyone else. Those are private details. I wouldn't tell people when I lost my virginity. I wouldn't tell them the struggles of being in a relationship because I know, everyone who's in a relationship, goes through trials and problems too. I can remember Blake telling me that her ex was pregnant and she has to help her with the responsibilities. I remember happy times too. I remember surprising her whenever I can. I often show up at work so we can go home together. I remember cooking for her. Our mini dates and our escapades. But those are just memories.
Every day that passes by, the memories get sadder. There are times when I can feel the grief and anxiety which was not there before. Most of them were not with Blake. The movies go on and I don't see her anywhere or feel her presence. She was always missing in action for reasons I was yet to find out.
Sometimes I assume that we might have broken up a long time ago but there's a nagging behind my head saying that she's still mine. I just let the memories flow back, let them narrate themselves and unfold their own mysteries. So far, the latest I can recall is the part when I was to surprise Blake with some breakfast. I never thought I was going to be surprised. She was not there and she never came.
I bawled my eyes out that morning that I woke up from that dream. I suppose it was part of my memories for the anguish was real. It was so vivid as if I'm part of that scene once again. Because of that, I was angry the whole day. I wanted to lash out at anybody. I know that I shouldn't so I kept my emotions. I started writing poetry instead.
"Two margaritas please," Tia ordered on the bar slightly flirting with the bartender. He was juggling the shakers so effortlessly and dancing for a mini show in front of Tia. It could be a good way to get a lot of attention together with tips.
Tia was so mesmerized as she enjoyed the shaking and the dancing. She even cared to look at me as if to tell me, 'Can you believe this?' all the while giggling like a school girl. No doubt she would get a lot more attention than the dancing bartender with her fiery bright red hair highlighting her head. I laughed at her and watched the rest of the crowd enjoy the music.
As I sip on my drink, I can't help but watch how professional the bartender was. Aside from the fact that he looks way too familiar, he really is good at what he does. I assume that he already has received a lot of tips tonight with all the grooves he's shown in the bar.
"Are you enjoying, Lana?" Tia shouted over the loud music. I nodded and continued to watch the dips and turns the bartender is now doing for the new customers who ordered drinks. He throws the shakers in the air, turns and catches them just to juggle them and pauses to slide in some ice. He jumps and throws the shakers again and ends with an exhibition on the floor. Everyone in the bar applauded the performance. He took a bow and smiled. His eyes went to me as he widened his smile, something clicked.
"Mike," I whispered to myself. He then took a good look at me as if finally recognizing me too. He stalked and walked to us stopping in front of me.
"Lana? Is that really you?" I should take that as an insult but I find it hard since his eyes were appreciating. I nod smiling, undeniably flattered.
"Hey there, Mike. Nice moves you got there huh. Who would have thought I'd see you here? I assumed you'd be a librarian or a lawyer, or a businessman, those geeky professions." I said, not sure if it was good to hear. I immediately apologized before he misunderstood. "I'm sorry, I don't mean it 'that' way."
"I understand, no worries. I get that a lot though. Maybe being studious in school is also a disadvantage. A lot of people have high expectations from me. I can be a bad guy for all you know." He kidded while wiping the counters.
"Hi, I'm Tia by the way." Tia beams surprising the both of us. I already forgot that I came with Tia here. It's great to be reminded.
"Mike. Nice meeting you." He said reaching out to Tia's outstretched hand. He kissed the back of her hand. Tia blushed aside from the blue laser lights.
"Thank you, Mike. My friend here is still single if you haven't heard." She said. I almost choked on my drink.
"I am not!" I shouted at her still stupefied.
"Oh, yes you are." Tia countered smiling widely at Mike.
"I'm sorry, Mike. See my friend here is very persistent in finding me a boyfriend. Don't mind her cause I am enjoying the life being single." I said after promising myself that I will have a word with 'Merida' later on.
"That, I did not expect. You're too pretty to be single." Mike smirks and all I can remember is Blake. She smirked her way at me. Out of the topic, Lana! "I guess I owe you drinks then. It's nice seeing you again," He bowed to me and to Tia "pleasure meeting you, Tia."
