The need to lie was a thick air blocking my lungs. When she asked me, who was the lucky girl, I stuck to my seat. My brain has left running away from me. Who was the lucky girl? Was she lucky? She doesn't even know I exist, how would she consider herself lucky then? For all I know, I won't even be seeing her again. The lucky girl? I'm not yet ready to fall in love again. Maybe I am the lucky one cause I wouldn't have my heart broken anytime soon. Lie. I am already breaking apart sitting here across Blake's interrogating eyes. I wanted a standing ovation for being so calm and able to answer, "It's alright Blake, her name is Rima." I would have choked if I had stared continuously at her but as soon as I have blurted out the answer, I looked away. I was afraid to let her know the lie I dropped so openly and confidently.
I found myself worrying about the words spilled. I was worried about myself. I must follow through with what I have said. How can I convince Rima to be my play pretend girlfriend? It was not like I was asking her to surrender her life to me but it would be a lot to ask from her. The fact that she might not even consider it. It would look like I am just playing with her feelings. I prayed I would get my answers over the weekend.
'Rima? U busy?' I hesitantly texted. This is the worst idea but I should make do with it. Who knows? I might just fall in love with her. I waited for ten grueling minutes before I heard my phone notifying me of the incoming message.
'Hmm. What's up? Not much to do but I'm having breakfast now.' Was her reply. Do I have to ask her out? This is awkward. I hesitated like I have never hesitated before. Should I invite her over?
'I have a question but you are not pressured to answer.' My cliffhanger text went.
'Huh?'
'Are we friends? Or are we something else?' This takes a lot of guts to send but I send it anyways. My heart was hammering almost anticipating the rejection, the embarrassment of the conversation I initiated.
'That was a hard one. You know I am totally attracted to you. I like you a lot. You are also a friend to me, so no pressure. 😉' Was her easy response. I was so relieved that I sank back into bed letting the breath that I was holding to wash over me.
I concocted my reply in my head, did a trial and error which would sound very straightforward to my ears. I thought I was done with the hard part but getting the person to agree to be in a relationship with you is way difficult. I hope the saints forgive me.
'I also like you, Rima. I think I am ready to have a relationship with you. That is if you would want that.' I texted slowly and waited for a response. It didn't come. I read and reread the last message I sent and tried to figure out if in some way I have offended her. Maybe I did, but do I have to apologize? I cannot rephrase it into something lighter to read. Maybe she's thinking about it? Maybe she thought I was pranking her.
After an hour, the reply didn't come. I was beyond ashamed of my proposition. Was I way over the line? I hope I was not so hard.
I guessed she won't be replying anymore so I busied myself reading the books that I left on my mini library untouched. I laid on the couch with a pillow propped under me. Three hours have passed before my stomach begged for something to eat.
I went to the kitchen to fix myself a light meal. With the book, on the other hand, I boiled warm water on the stove. Deciding I miss eating cup noodles, I pulled the nori package that has been sitting far back into the fridge. I checked the expiration and was pleased it is still good to eat. Opening the kitchen cabinets, I found the sesame seeds canister. In the fridge was cold chicken slices from I don't know where. Probably a takeout meal by Amy. The soy sauce was stuck frozen into the cold chicken would add flavor to the experiment I have in mind.
