one shots // phan

i tried

I tried. I really did. But its hard to get over someone when all you've ever known is them and how they've affected your life and made you the person you are today.

When their laugh is the only sound you want to hear and you want to be the cause of it. When their smile lights up the room like a thousand suns and you wonder how you got so goddamn lucky as to have them in your life, let alone be able to kiss their lips and call them yours.

When on the rainy days, they'd make forts out of pillows and blankets like you're a bunch of little kids again and they gather up snacks and a whole stack of your favourite movies that you've watched a thousand times but they never get old.

When you were sick and they'd fix you soup and bring you medicine. Kissing you anyway, not caring if they caught what you had because 'love is the best medicine' and they knew you'd be there to take care of them, just like they were for you.

It's hard when you were both so in love it blinded you from seeing the real world and knowing fairy tales aren't real and never will be and there's no perfect relationship where there are no fights. That when you bottle up all your negative emotions, one day they'll all come flying out in a shitstorm that will wreck your life and that's when reality sets in.

You can't go back to before. It's not that simple. They've moved on, but you haven't and your brain still hasn't processed that fact. They love someone else, but you still see their eyes when you close yours.

I just want to go back to the time when you'd hold me in your arms and tell me everything's going to be alright. When you'd kiss my cheek and the world would melt away.