cancer - joshler

♡13

tyler sat in front of a camera,

his breath is shaking,

he wants the words to flow out easily,

but they just won't,

he wants to give clues to his fans,

clues to let them know he won't be here for to long,

and once he's gone they need to move on,

as hard as it sounds,

tyler wants them to move on.

tyler needs them to move on.

he wants them to not be sad.

he doesn't want any one being sad.

he spoke to josh about death not to long ago,

josh didn't know why but he didn't feel right.

his stomach went into knots,

not knots;

more like pain,

for some reason he doesn't know why.

josh told tyler they are gonna live old together,

tyler smiled;

but knew that was never going to happen.

no matter how much he wanted it to,

tyler wasn't going to grow old.

he was going to die at a young age,

and he wanted josh to get the idea,

but josh didn't,

because he pushed the conversation aside.

he didn't ever want to think about tyler dying,

because he loved tyler so much,

he could never imagine living with out him,

josh's gut wasn't feel good,

when josh and tyler were talking about death.

so that's what lead tyler to sit in front of the camera.

if josh wouldn't hear it now,

he would definitely heard about it later,

thanks to the internet.

tyler is surprised,

surprised because no one knew about his cancer,

yet.

on the internet you could figure everything out,

he's surprised no one knows.

once again tyler gets sidetracked,

it happens a lot lately,

he try's to focus on one thing,

but then his mind drifts to so many sad places,

and he can't stop it,

he thinks about his death to much,

to much for his head to handle.

that's another reason,

why he's in front of the camera.

because if no one is in front of him,

if no one is listening then things are easier.

easier to talk.

easier to let things flow out of his mouth.

easier to think about what going to happen,

with his life.

easier just to feel so many people are going to listen.

he really hopes once he's gone,

people will watch the video and understand,

understand;

why he said he was talking about vessel,

and not having cancer.

he wanted to throw people off,

he didn't want them to piece together,

that he had cancer.

not yet at least.

tyler realizes,

that getting old,

dying,

it's all going to happen,

tyler doesn't want to not talk about death,

it's something that shouldn't be awkward.

it's going to happen he thinks,

so in the video he sends josh a message,

to let him know he has a message to give.

now tyler speaks.

'you know just the idea of getting old,

the idea of dying...'

and the words flow out tylers mouth,

like if his cancer wasn't a problem as of now,

he loves the feeling,

he loves when he can speak things into a camera,

it's a lot easier then doing in a crowd of people.

tyler watch the video one last time,

putting an untitled demo behind his words,

and sending it out to the internet,

for people to inspect,

and find out what's really wrong with tyler.

*
make sure you watch the video above,
it goes w/ tys words & goes more w/ the story,
& im the one who put the music in the back
your welcome :))
sorry for posting this chapter many times,
i kept finding mistakes
*