Internal - Blurryface

Chapter 3

Now in my room, I put my iPod on the speakers and grab my phone, dialing a number. While I wait for an answer, I look through my room until I find a small cardboard box with a models face on it, holding a cheesy smile.

"Hayls, what's up?" Melissa greets me.

"Hurry up and get over here. We're dying my hair." I tell her. I can practically hear her smiling through the phone.

"Of course! I'll be over in 5" She says excitedly before she hangs up.

I sit on my bed and anxiously wait for her, my thumb grazing over the top of the dye's box.

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"Are you sure you want to do this?" Melissa asks me, both of us standing in my bathroom.

"Completely sure. I need something new. A fresh start. Something different." I say confidently.

She gives me a smile before mixing all of the dye in a bowl. The smell of chemicals hangs in the air as she starts applying the strange coloured mixture to my hair. In the time it took to apply it, we were singing, poorly, to whatever song came up on my iPod, and actually having fun.

I cherish moments like these, because since the accident I have rarely been able to have fun and be myself.

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After half an hour the dye is finally washed out, I blow dry my hair and look in the mirror. Instead of the usual dark aburn hair that awaits me, a new person looks through. Thick blonde hair now hangs down a few inches above my belly button, my light skin making it look like my natural colour.

"Wow..." I hear Melissa gawk. "You look like... you."

I really take a look at myself and it brings me back to that day I made my necklace. I was naturally blonde, it wasn't too light but it didn't have any traces of brown in it. I was happy and care free and nothing could hurt me. I looked just like my dad. He had the same shade of blonde hair, and there was no doubt I was his child.

I only dyed my hair after Jessica died. It was my way of trying to shake anything that reminded me of her.

I didn't notice I was smiling until I saw Melissa smiling back through the mirror. Taking another long look at myself, the first time I really have in 2 years, finally made me appreciate myself. I never really taken a good look in a mirror since the accident, and come to think of it now I realized what I had. Perfect teeth, healthy hair that wasn't too wavy or too straight, and I had never had any problems with my skin.

Despite me being mentally fucked up I could have had a chance of being in the 'In Crowd' .

My thoughts were interrupted when a pillow flew into the side of me.

"Come on Aphrodite," Melissa said sarcastically, giggling.

"Your reflection will always be there, you can boast some other time. For now, we are having fun."

My face lit up with a huge smile. I was truly happy. For once I am genuinely happy and nothing can ruin it.

"You're such a bitch" I say laughing. "Oh Meeellll..." I drag out the words. She looks at me just as I throw the pillow right back at her and she falls to the ground with a thud. She glares at me for a moment before we both just break down laughing our heads off.

The night continued on us messing around and being stupid. It was all interrupted by the sound of footsteps downstairs.

"Shit." I say. We stop laughing.

"My mom's home." I look at Melissa. She just nods and grabs her bag.She knows how my mom is, I've been able to tell her everything. At least, almost everything.

She slung her back over her shoulder and climbed out my window. I'm usually hesitant about her walking home at night, but she needed to be out of sight, now.

"Joe should be here in about a minute" I whisper. I knew his bus schedule like the back of my hand.

Melissa gives me the thumbs up and makes her way off the lot. A few minutes pass and my door is thrown open to reveal my sloppy mother.

"You." She looks at me, pointing her finger.

"How dare you- you look so much like him." She points out my hair, her speech slurred.

"You know, if it wasn't for you he would still be here. You always think everything is about you. Well guess what, princess, it's not. You really want to know why he died? To make sure his darling daughter would be safe." She states.

"W-what?" I ask, stuttering.

"He went over to that nut jobs house to make sure that it was a safe environment for you. And you know what happened? He killed him. Because of you your father is dead. And I could never tell you because you've always been so fucked up, I'm so ashamed to call you my daughter. I always had to hide you and keep you away from everyone so they wouldn't think you were a disaster because of me. That I had the crazy gene you have. You were my biggest mistake."

Every word she said stabbed me in the heart, and half way through I couldn't contain my tears.

"You know what." I started.

"I may have been your biggest mistake, but you are just down right pathetic. You go and drink your problems away like it will bring dad back but it wont. People don't ignore you because of me, they ignore you because you're you. You're the bitch. You're a terrible mother, too. Not once do you ever try to talk to me or help me. You pretend and walk away when I try. You're horrible. Dad got the right idea, the only way he could get away from you was death, and I bet he was happy he finally found a way out."

She just looked at me, struck. I walked up to her about to usher her out when I felt a hand smack against the side of my face, forcing me on the ground.

"Ungrateful little bitch" She spat. I stood up, shoved her out, and slammed the door in her face.

I rubbed my face where she hit to feel a mark already forming. I ran across my room, grabbed a hoodie, and climbed out my window.

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the old white house. I didn't care anymore. I wanted to die.

"Haley, no." The voice came through again. I ignored it.

My vision was blurry from my tears and I just layed down on the grass in front of the house. I could see 2 sets of eyes staring at me through the windows of the house. Red and amber. Evil and good. But I just didn't have the energy to care.

"Take me with you..." I whispered into the ground and blacked out.