Internal - Blurryface

Chapter 9

*trigger warning, dawgs.

"You.... Cannot.... Escape.... Me..." A crackling, sickly voice creeps into my head. I stop dead in my tracks. 

No. No. No no no no. This can't be happening right now. 

"Haaayley, come on we're gonna be late for class." Melissa sings my name.

"I. I can't." My body feels frozen in fear. Shock. I could barely speak the words. 

A sinister laugh pierces my ears once more. My eyes meet the glowing red from the dark figure from earlier. Instead of leaning against the wall, it is now standing up straight, arms crossed. Its eyes are piercing my soul. I am petrified. 

"What's going on?" Melissa's voice softens, clueing in to the fact that something isn't right. 

"I-It's right there... staring. I c-can't." My shaking hand raises up to point to the spot the figure is in. Melissa's vision follows my hand.

"There's nothing there, Hayley. Just relax." She nudges my shoulder.

"You just don't get it. You don't understand. It's there. He... he spoke to me. I can't-" I try to explain but I'm cut off by a heavy sigh.

"Holy fuck. It's not real. Just go home." I'm surprised by Melissa's sudden change of energy. 

Everyone in the schoolyard is walking around normally as if the figure isn't standing right there. Going about their day totally normally. Imagine that; a life without all of this bullshit weighing them down. Without voices and figures and crippling nightmares. Without having to try not to react to what your mind throws at you when you're in public. Fuck this. 

I run.

Without thinking or looking back, I run. I don't know where to or where from, but I run because that's all I know what to do right now. The trees blur past me as my legs and feet take me as fast as they can. After a while they start to burn, but I ignore the pain. 

I don't know what's gotten into me. Why I'm so affected by this. It's not the end of the world, Melissa must have just been tired. But I don't understand why that heavy energy fell over me. 

Has she been faking? Has my only friend been faking this whole time? The only thing keeping me grounded? Is this it? 

I laugh to myself. The highlight of my life is having one friend. If I can call her that. 

After some time I find myself on the town's main bridge which crosses overtop an unforgiving river. An eerie calm comes over me. 

My hands tremble over the steel bars that overpass the rocky waters. Looking over my shoulder, the dark figure from earlier is on the other side of the bridge in a patch of shade, eyes still glowing red. 

"You know you want to." Its voice creeps in my thoughts again.

"No. I don't know. You don't know anything." I reply.

"On the contrary, I know everything. I know you. I know your life. I know your fate. And this is it."

What the hell is it talking about. Why would I want to kill myself over something like this.

"It's not because of her and you know that. It's everything. Look what your life has come to. This is it. It's over." It speaks again.

I mean, maybe he's right. It's not looking up from here. This isn't a life. I have nobody to say goodbye to, anyways. Nobody I'm leaving behind. In the end, I'm all alone. Just me. And the shadow, I guess. Not even the usual "friend" that pops into my head every so often is here now. Just me on my own. 

I hoist myself up on the railing.

So, this is it. The shadow's right. I don't have a job, I have no friends, no future, no hope. 

Glancing down, the rough rocky waters crash against the sides of the bay. It's a good drop down, hopefully it'll be done quick and painlessly. Whatever happens, I don't care.

"So long." I breathe into the wind as I let myself fall.