Internal - Blurryface

Chapter 7

I've come to a realization: my happiness is a curse. Every time I am actually content with my life, something clicks in the universe to sabotage that little ball of light. If I ever get married, I wouldn't be surprised if the world just exploded on the wedding day. If only that had happened earlier I would be saved from this living nightmare.

But no, here I am in a small, unknown town, somewhere in U.S-freaking-A. Slowly going through insanity in a world so useless. Spinning around, doing the same routine every moment of its existence until it just stops existing. Just like me.

Now I'm standing in front of this old brick school wondering why I even bother trying. It's not like it will help my future. If anything, it actually makes it worse. That is if I did have a future, which I don't. That's just something I know. There's no escape, so all I can do is get by as easily as possible.

With a deep breath, I enter the school doors to unexpectedly find students swarming the front entrance. Among the crowd, I instantly spot Melissa, leaning against the wall and twirling her hair while talking to Jake. Apparently it's never too early to flirt when you're Mel. Unfortunately, she spots me and begins to break through the crowd of people.

"Heya Hayls! Feeling better?" She asks, cheerily as usual. Yes, because someone can get over a mental breakdown so easily. I don't say anything, just give her a shrug and a smile. It's not like she could hear me through all of the chatter around us.

"There's an assembly today, wanna dip?" She nudges me playfully.

Usually I would get out of school as fast as possible, but this time the words just won't come out. I shake my head in response, and she just shrugs and walks away with her latest boy-toy towards the bathroom. Gross.

Soon enough we are escorted inside the auditorium. It's set like a theatre; rows of red seats facing an upraised stage with all sorts of technical equipment fit for any type of performance. Like all schools, ours is very humid, the air tinged with a strange odour I can't seem to name.

I make my way to the front row to one of the only seats left untaken. I slouch down and put in an earbud, not looking forward to whatever the school was planning on lecturing us on today.

Instead of the principle coming on stage and practically boring us to death, the curtain opens to reveal a set of instruments. 2 Microphone stands, 2 guitars, 1 bass and a drum kit sits along the stage. Right on que, a group of 4 boys walks across the platform, taking their places by the instruments. One of them seems to catch my eye. He is around 5'9, short brown hair, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt fitting him oh so well. He smiles confidently, grabbing the mic. I immediately recognize him as the guy from the bus who gave me my iPod. The others were the typical music-geeks, apart from the one beside bus-guy who had messy dyed red hair and tattoos peaking out of his shirt sleeve.

"Hi there! You might not know us but we just transferred here from across town. The school district has decided to spread a music program throughout the town. We're here to kick start it, an introduction to show you what potential you could have in music. So without further ado,let's get started." He speaks confidently and comfortably to the crowd.

I hear mumbles from the students around me, cooing over his looks and charm. Oh great, he's one of those people. I could already tell he would fit in with the populars so easily, but worst of all be one of the suckers falling into Mel's possession. There goes my chance at friendship.

Soon enough, they start playing their music and I slunk even further in my seat. I use this as an opportunity to zone out, take a step away from reality for a little while. My mind wanders, bringing up memories from when I was young.

It's sometime in the summer. I'm on a swingset with a young Jessica right beside me, the both of us sporting the biggest smiles imaginable. We were obviously laughing at something, I just can't seem to remember what. Another flash and we're a little older, starting our first day of middle school. We were both nervous but walked into the building hand-in-hand, supporting one another. Everything from then was pure.

The image fades, and is quickly replaced by darkness. Flashes of the twisted grin of a frightening shadow. My best friends partly devoured body. The scene from the school bathroom.

A feeling of panic consumes me and I force myself to snap out of it.

Slowly lifting my gaze, I find the boy from the bus looking down on me with a sympathetic look on his face. Was it really that obvious? He feels sorry for me, he can probably tell how much of an outcast I am.

His eyes swiftly change to look around the rest of the room. Taking out an earbud, I decide to watch the performance.

The boy is at center stage, singing and playing the guitar. The sound that came out of it was simply breath taking, it's so hard to describe. It was a mixture of a whole bunch of styles, not too heavy but not too light, making a perfect balance. Each instrument had a highly effective part, the little subtleties making it that much better.

They carried on a few more songs until the principle came out and dismissed us. Students quickly rushed out and the performers were putting away the instruments, leaving me looking like a deer in headlights in the seats. After a few minutes, I nervously walked up to the stage where bus boy was packing up his guitar.

"H-hey." I stuttered out. No reply. "That was really good." I tried again, with the same results. Three time's the charm. "Can I have your guitar pick?" Still, my existence was being ignored. You know what they say 'If you first you don't succeed, try try again.' , not 'try try try try try try again until you die of embarrassment.'. With a sigh I turned around and left, trying to save what dignity I had left.

In the courtyard, I spot Melissa and her boy toy behind the bleachers. Ew. Can that girl stay away from anything with a penis? Wait, don't answer that.

"Hey." I nearly have a heart attack as a voice creeps up behind me.

"Jesus Christ.." I mutter, my hand still on my chest from the scare.

"Sorry. About earlier, and now I guess too. I tend to sneak up on people, as you now know." The boy from earlier smiles warmly at me.

"No problem. I'm used to it." I mumble, looking at the ground.

"Well you shouldn't."