Paper Notes - [joshler]

7

[ tyler's pov ]

i should tell him, shouldn't i?

why i don't talk that is, it's not that i don't want too though, it's more of a fear.

or perhaps dread.

words are complicated, and wouldn't life be simpler if we all took time to say how we really felt? people always rush and say things too fast, and it comes out all jumbled.

making no sense.

but hey, if you talk enough sense, then you'll lose your mind.

but if we all just took our time, and wrote our thoughts out then things would be better.

but that's not why i don't talk, it's a good excuse though, or at least i believe so.

bing

josh: heyyooo x

tyler: doesn't "x" stand for kiss, since "o" usually stands for the hug?

josh: oh shutupp, i use that for everyone.

tyler: haha shutup, how can i shut up if i wasn't even talking?

josh: yeah you were?

josh: oh.. well typing, whatever smart ass.

tyler: you know you love it lol

josh: you got that right

tyler: i've been thinking.

josh: that's good, about what exactly?

tyler: something i feel i should tell you, get off my chest i suppose, never told anyone really.

josh: whatever it is i won't tell a soul.
read 2:36 am

i rub my eyes with my knuckle, realizing how late it actually is, but i should probably just tell josh, can't leave a boy with sUch a cliff hanger.

tyler: it's actually about why i don't talk, it's probably going to seem quite stupid.
read 2:38 am

i tightly shut my eyes, thinking of how to come across not insane.

tyler: in fourth grade, i was made fun of, it's not uncommon in this cruel world. anyways, they would make fun of my speech, i guess i stuttered, sounded girlish, made no sense. just a bunch of things i suppose. they called me a faggot, i asked why that was an insult, they laughed. it was a never ending thing truly, i'd come home with forming bruises, i began to not talk as much, it was a gradual transition. but i realized things were better when i wasn't talking. besides listening is more fun. that's when my mother started to homeschool me. she was worried, still is, but the rest is history.
read 2:43 am

[ a/n ]

i'm writing this at 1 am, listening to nitesky by Robot Koch.

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