Intertwined - Jon Cozart x Dodie Clark fic

Chapter 6 - Dear Happy

*Dodie's P.O.V.*

My brain is drowning in copious amounts of fluff, and squishy feelings which I really wish I could dismiss. When it's not his smile running through my head, it's the way his eyes light up when something he's been working on for months finally goes right, or it's the way he sounds when he sings his favourite beatles song, or it's the glow that appears on his face after I laugh at one of his jokes, and as I send one of these thoughts away, another infinite stream of them are ready to appear. It's insane. I need to drain them out, distract myself, keep them locked away. He wouldn't want to date me. He wouldn't, right? I'm still considering making a move if I'm honest, but I'm leaning to no. Everything is against us. Jesus Christ, I live in London. Fucking London. L.A, no matter how many times I visit, is such a temporary thing. I guess I've just got to hope these feelings are as well. Thomas was going to come here, but apparently there weren't any ubers available to pick him up, so Jon volunteered to drop me off where Thomas is staying on his way to a shoot. It's literally twenty minutes out of the way there, but he did it anyway. Here I am now at his doorstep, having just rung the bell, waiting for him to open the door.

'Dodie! Hey!' A smile lights up on his face as he gestures for me to come inside.

'Ahhh! Hello! It's so good to see you!'

'Oh goodness, how've you been? I've missed you!' He asks, pulling me into a hug.

'Eh, it's been a lot lately. My head's going wonky again. How's it been with you?'

'Good! Oh it's been so good, but i probably should stop talking about how good it's been when you've just told me how your head is apparently going, wonky.' he responds, a slightly confused expression forming on his face on that last word.

'Is anything wrong, Dodie? Can I do anything for you?'

'A cup of tea would be nice, I guess?' A hot cup of tea. The one thing that I am always in the mood for.

'Ah, of course. Give me two secs, I'll make some real quick.' He walks into the kitchen as I look around in the living room. Soon enough he walks back out with cup in hand, which I proceed to take a sip of.

'Ahhh, this is so good! Thank you!' I smile at him.

'My pleasure. Um, would you like to talk, or do we just get a-filming?'

'Let's film. We've gotta get stuff done, talk after?'

'Sounds good.'

*45 minutes later*

Dear Happy is a song I wrote years ago, abandoned, and have recently brushed off again and tweaked. I quite like what it's become, and it's somewhat soothing in a way, and so is Thomas's voice, so it works perfectly. We've just finished shooting the last take, and we're moving the camera's position slightly for Birds, when all of a sudden I feel compelled to ask him about the Jon situation. I mean, I don't think I can explain it not-in-person and he's a good advice giver, so all at once I just blurt out:

'I think I've got a crush on Jon.' He pauses for a moment and turns to look at me.

'Is this what was bothering you before?' I nod my head, and he shuffles around to face me.

'I mean, it's a long story, but he is looking cuter by the second and is more appealing. But then again, Gabbie put me on to thinking this way and I don't know if she's right or is too lonely for her own good and sees chemistry where there isn't, but now I think I like Jon and I don't know what to do.' I put my head into my hands.

'What's so bad about that? Ask him out?' He suggests.

'I mean if we didn't live on opposite sides of the Atlantic ocean, sure.' He nods his head.

'I just, I'm so confused. Do I? Do I tell him or just keep it in?' He draws a deep breath as he thinks, then responds:

'I mean, I would, but then again you don't have to keep it from him or tell him, you don't owe him anything. It depends how you feel and what will make you happy.' The conversation continues, and I realise that Thomas is totally correct. Like, it's up to me. I call the shots with my decisions, I can do this. We film Birds, talk for forever, and by the time I'm in an uber back to Jon's, I've made my decision. I open the door to find nobody home, shrug, and make some Mac and cheese. What can I say, carbs fuel the soul. And my heart, this is amazing for ma cand cheese.

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I've been busy. I'm sorry. I'm not doing my best mentally but here's a chapter I wrote in the middle of Christmas stress. Hope you like it.

Throw me a vote If you think I deserve it please, it validates me. What's dodie's decision going to be?

Thanks for reading

~Ellen Cozartist