Welcome Home (Phan)

Four

A/N: I'd just like to point out before people yell at me that I know very little about how the Army Forces work in Britain but I have been searching the interwebs to make this somewhat realistic. Enjoy the chapter!

Oh...um. TW//Death mention and killing

Dan's POV

"Dan. Oi! Dan, wake up!" I felt a firm grip on either of my shoulders. The voice seemed distant, my mind was still kind of blurred by the haze of sleep. I blinked a couple times, hoping to blink away the blur. It worked, as usual. I was met by the distressed face of one of my close friends, Chris. He was dragged into this mess long before I was. He had someone dear to leave behind too, just like me. I pushed the thought of Phil aside, I just woke up. I wasn't about to be dragged into the pit of missing him already. That time came around 9:30, 10 if I was lucky.

Chris is one of the main reasons I'm alive. He's pushed me out of the way of so many lines of fire it's not funny. Thing is, I've probably almost gotten him killed too many times to count. "Alright, alright. I'm awake." I croaked.

"Good. Lieutenant is coming around. You know how he can be." Chris winked. You have to always try and be on Lieutenant's good side, you don't need an enemy inside your own HQ, hey?

When I decided to write my name down for this hellish thing, I wasn't expecting this. I mean, I've spent plenty of hours yelling at a television screen because of some Xbox game but no matter how many times I've pressed RT on a controller and pulled a virtual trigger, it definitely didn't match what has now become my day to day life. I wish this was just another video game but it isn't and I have to face the fact that I've only got one life. This is reality and reality doesn't give you second chances. It doesn't allow you to hit a button, 'respawn' and sign in relief because you can do everything over again. That...that's not how this works.

My hands shook as I pushed the covers off my thinned body. I pulled my socks over my feet. They didn't let us pick our own socks. I would literally kill to be able to...scratch that. I've done enough of that. Taking lives of those who didn't want anything to do with this completely moronic thing we call war. I've killed men, women, children, whole families all because I was ordered to. They didn't do anything to harm anyone, they just couldn't get out in time and that's what haunts me. I've deprived people of living the rest of their lives. Experiencing a first kiss? I've stolen that from too many children. 50th wedding anniversary? Whisked (*cough* not sorry *cough*) away along with the dust we kick up with our heavy boots. I'm one of the worst thieves there is. I don't take jewellery or money, I take lives. That's not something I ever thought I would do, so why the hell am I here? Why the hell did I pick up that pen at the bloody sign up day or whatever it was and scribble my name onto the piece of god damned paper? I had one sheer moment, twenty seconds even, of wanting to be the hero. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if my name was scrawled onto the paper and I filled out the little spaces, I could be a hero. I could be his hero. I told myself I'd be protecting Phil if I came out here. How could I have been so wrong?

I glanced over my shoulder at the small, round clock hanging on the wall. 10:00.

"Guess I was lucky today..." I mumbled, praying no one heard me. I darted towards the entrance of camp. Screaming, what a lovely start to the day.

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Phil's POV

I know, I know. Don't kill me please? :) More Dan soon.

"Phiiiiillllllll!" A familiar female voice rang out behind me. I had no intention to turn around. There wasn't really a point. I do kind of need a friend now though...

"Philip! Slow down, my god child."

"You know Louise, I'm not a child anymore. I'm 18." I turned to look at the red-faced girl, well young lady, who wanted me to stop walking.

"Hello to you too." She smiled and I tried smiling back. Louise put her hand on my shoulder blade, most likely an act of comfort. That's what I was going to take it as anyways. I really missed her, I've been pushing everyone away since Dan left.

You don't really notice you're losing the people you care about until someone tells you or no one talks to you. For me, it was both. Joe and Caspar kind of just...cut off all communication with me. I think my cloud of self-pity and sorrow grew a little too big for them to handle, if that makes sense. Zoe called me about a week after Dan was first deported. She expressed how she felt and that was fine, I'm glad she told me. I was able to patch things up with her and now she's one of the most amazing and supportive friends I could ever ask for. I just wish I knew I deserved that because I know I don't, not after the way I treated her. Louise has stuck with me through everything. She didn't stop saying "hello" to me in the halls, even when I didn't answer. She didn't tell me to stop being a self wallowing human or to suck it up. She just gave me a bit of space but she came back even after I was the worst friend anyone could ask for. I'm forever grateful for that, I don't think she'll ever understand how much she's helped me and how much I truly adore her because I don't even understand that.

I will not kiss you, lips are chapped and fad-

I pulled my earbuds out so I could fully listen to Louise. She was going on about something to do with a party last weekend and guys. It swam through my ears really but if you throw in a few nods, laughs and 'mhmms'(at the right times of course), you could pull off an Oscar-award winning performance of a listening friend.

Once we reached my locker, Louise made sure I was okay to walk to my first class and she then sauntered off down the long corridor towards her own locker. First class, what IS my first class? I pulled out my timetable and my eyes landed on the 'Monday' column (sorry if this makes no sense, this is how timetables work where I am) and I saw that my first hour of school was filled with Math. "Lovely." I grumbled quietly. I gently put my earbuds but in my ears, right then left and found my way to a bench in one of the small courtyards around the school. I let myself indulge in the small minutes of peace I had left before Hell really let loose.

And you swear to your parents, that it will never happen again.

I know, I know, what that means, I know.

That you all have guns and you never put the safety on.

And you all have plans, to take it, to take it.

Don't take it, take it, take it.

The song continued to play. I continued to listen, taking in every drum beat and every word. I tried to understand music rather than just listen to it. Listening's okay but that's not really why people write songs, is it? Don't they write them to convey a message, to speak to those who need to be spoken to? I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking but that's how I see it and nothing's changing that.

As soon as the last second of the song made it's way to my ears, the sound that summons the Hell hounds out of their holes sounded and I had to quickly walk to Math class. Being last to walk through the door was one of the worst things, but so was being first. You had to be able to find some sort of balance, a middle ground. I was lucky enough to reach the classroom at one of the best times possible, almost smack bang in the middle of everyone else. "Good morning, Philip." I glanced up and managed a small smile.

"Morning, Miss. Peters." Those three words caught my teacher off guard. I rarely ever say anything in response to her good mornings but today was some sort of a good day. Her smile visibly widened. She nodded and went back to greeting the other students flooding through the door.

I stumbled to the back of the room and found a seat. I assumed a 'normal student' position. Notebook in front of me, pen in my right hand, I was ready to make it look like I was paying attention. Really I was just planning on scrawling song lyrics onto multiple pages for the whole sixty minutes. "Let's begin, shall we?" Miss. Peters' voice silenced the class and Monday had officially begun.

Wait for me to come home...