text / phan

14

apologies for the late update!!!!!!!

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phil//

it was dark when we had finished eating.

i still couldn't believe he was here. he actually came. he actually wanted to come see me. he actually wanted to be here. and i felt a sense of comfort knowing that dan was safe here. he's here with me, and i hope he's happy. he looks happy.

"dan?"

dan looked at me immediately after i said his name, as if he knew i was thinking about him.

"phil?" his eyebrows raised.

"are you.." i stopped, looking down. i shook my head, dismissing the thought. "never mind."

dan got closer. so close that i could see his shoulders slowly rising up and falling back down with each soft inhale and exhale. "what is it?"

i took a hesitant breath. "are you happy here? i mean- with me?"

dan let out a gentle chuckle. "yes, phil."

i smiled. he did too, and he started to laugh. he closes his eyes a lot when he laughs.

i laughed too. not because i found anything funny. i just laughed to let out the feeling that i can only manage to describe to you as 'warmth' that had risen in my chest throughout the entire day.

after that we both started to relax a bit more.

an hour later i felt a small weight on my left side. i looked over to see dans head nuzzled into my arm, with his knees to his chest. i moved my head so i was able to see his face. his eyes were closed.

sleepy boy.

i looked at him for a while. i wanted to memorize every aspect of his face. he looked so beautiful, laying there. his smooth features created a calming sense of balance throughout his entire profile.

god, i'm in love.

in his sleep he hugged my torso, and i tried my best not to move. he made small noises as he would reposition himself and he'd hug me tighter.

the show we were watching had eventually paused on the 'are you still watching?' screen. i didn't want to move, so i just let it be.

soon the room was filled with the sound of nothing but dans breathing and his occasional noises.

a seed of pure bliss blossomed in an explosive manner through my chest, causing me to smile and take a sharp, unexpected breath that represented my contentedness.
when i exhaled i realized how tired i was.

i rested one arm around the boy that slept on me, and supported my head with the other. it wasn't the most comfortable position, but dan was comfortable, and i was happy.